Nice Guys: Do you ever have the balls to tell a girl you're NOT interested?

I'm having a tough time. I am friends with this guy who I've had feelings for a while. We're great friends and I've been pretty obvious about how I feel about him but he is either too shy (like me) to make a move, or he just simply doesn't feel the same way. Also, whenever I tell him I like him he responds with "yeah right" (Fustrating!) I don't know if it is a confidence issue or if he just isn't in the same boat I am... We go weeks talking every day and then we'll go a week or two with out a word.

So what? string me along until something better (yeah right) comes along? or eventually get the balls to tell her and put her out of her misery? Maybe I need to grow the balls, HELP


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This could actually be the opposite of what you're thinking. I've been in somewhat of a situation like this before, and never really knew that girl actually liked me as such.
    A female friend, and I had been hanging out two summers ago quite a bit. We would have dinner, stay up late talking, but nothing physical ever happened. She would tease with jokes, and laugh in a flirtatious way, but I never asked her if she actually liked me. I had let it go in my head, and if she did and voiced it thoroughly. Then I would respond to it, but sometimes it's not about telling you that he's not interested, or not having the balls to tell you. He may just be oblivious to it all. You should just be straight forward with him, or just ask him out on an actual date. Otherwise, you'll just be assuming for quite some time.

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What Guys Said 10

  • One of two things is going on here:

    1. He has confidence issues.
    2. He just wants to be friends

    My money is on #1. Obviously you desire to be more than friends. It's time to confront him once and for all about this. If he can't get it together or really does just want to be friends I'd move the f*#@ on. Life's too short for this kind of bs girl.

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  • I've never been put into that position. But better to be honest than string someone along. Too many feelings on the line. Right now, I'm friends with a girl that I've hung out with three times thus so far. She's genuine as hell, sweet, smart and good looking and while she knows how I feel, and seems like she's interested, I'm just still not sure. But like you, I'd rather the person be honest and reciprocate the feelings rather than not.

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  • ''yeah right'' = that's just me when i'm not interested. I totally find myself in your story '' we'll go a week without talking'', from my point of view he is definitely not in the same boat. But at the end that's just my humble opinion.

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  • If he tries to talk to you? If so he is interested or maybe he just wants you to make more of a first move.. as you said he is shy, maybe he doesn't know how to go to the next step with you. Why don't you just ask him if he likes you or not.

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  • I do. am I still nice now?

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    • Absolutely. I would respect honesty. Like ripping off a band aid and move on.

    • I don't like when they keep chasing me when I don't want and they cry or such. I just tell her before she overreacts. sometimes when she's kinda attractive I offer her to be her wingman/dating coach. well most of the times I do that they tell me I'm an asshole or some shit, stupid girls :p

  • I had this with a girl for three years. Has he ever been bullied in school by an chance? I had this guy who told every girl my weaknesses or went out with her himself, thus I was to afraid and didn't speak to the one girl I really liked for three years. It ended badly.

    My point is, please make the first move and just ask him out. Please.
    Now it is 10 years later and I have never even been kissed, because she and I where both too insecure.

    Please make the first move yourself!

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  • Sounds like he's not interested. Only one way to tell. Ask him and don't let him blow it off. If he's not interested he's under no obligation to say he's not. You say your shy, speaking from experience what they may think is obvious is a outgoing friendly girls normal.

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  • Guys are faced with this problem all the time - none of the women tell us they do not like us directly - just work it out. The key is not to blame the opposite sex for not seeing things the way you do.

    Anyway, it's the same conclusion as so often on this GAG - make yourself look as hot as possible, get active and work on your life. Then look around and see who's interested.

    Why does he have to 'get the balls' to tell you anything?

    If you really are interested in him and he does't feel the same, maybe it's best not to reveal your hand anymore.

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  • No, my very first girlfriend in the first grade told me i was her boyfriend and she meant it, never looked back.

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  • I have told girls I wasn't interested, and I am a really nice guy.

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