Ladies do you ask out and then not pay? Do you go dutch if you do?

Do you or have you asked a guy out and then not pay? Do you think that's fair? For those who do pay did you go dutch or did you go all out? Do you think its okay for a woman to go dutch on a date, but then expect a guy to not go dutch?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, I don't mind paying. My general thing is, if I ask someone out, then I'm expecting to pay. Sometimes we end up going dutch though, which is fine. In terms of when a guy asks me out, normally the first time he insists on paying, even though I offer to split it, and then the rest of the time we go dutch or take turns picking up the tab.

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What Girls Said 8

  • If I asked a guy out I would pay. I believe that the person who asks should pay, so they should also select a decent restaurant or event that fits in their budget. I don't think it's fair to ask somebody out and then not pay for them, whether you're a guy or a girl. And going dutch should happen after a few dates, or even just taking turns paying for dates (and planning them).

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  • We take turns paying on dates. That or going dutch, or splitting the bill down the middle, is the fairest arrangement. If you make roughly the same amount.
    There's some merit to the notion that if there's a huge income disparity between the two people (and it's still usually the the guys who make way more than the girls) then the higher earner should be the one paying, especially if that person picked an expensive restaurant. If that makes you uncomfortable, then try to only go on free dates or only to restaurants that are within the lower earner's price range.
    And to answer your first question, I don't think I've ever not paid -- at least for my part -- after asking a guy out, unless he was earning, like, twice as much as me, and he vehemently insisted on paying.

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  • Honestly I think it depends on mindset and how they were raised. To be honest I've never asked out a guy and usually I've been stuck with paying when I do go on dates, I think its a two way street. I was taught "el que invita paga" basically the person who invites pays. I expect them to pay if they invite or if I invite I'll pay even with friends I'm like that.

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  • I rarely go on dates. But when I invite people over I make sure to have everything there for my guests. The dates I have been on I insisted on paying for myself. But this is more because I feel weird accepting things from people. So yeah, I wouldn't mind going dutch.

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  • When I ask out which is rare I pay Or go Dutch. If a man asks me out and wants to go Dutch he better tell me ahead of time. Like two days before and going Dutch can't be often at all.

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  • If I ask a guy out I would always pay.

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  • I paid for myself when I dated sometimes. My bf pays for things now

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    • I thought you were he one that paid. That's what you lead me on to believe on your feminism question.

    • Well that's a silly assumption you made

    • I prefer my traditional relationship

  • I'm Dutch so I go Dutch, hahaha :) I do pay for the both of us when it's not really expensive but when I go to a fancy restaurant, I go Dutch.

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What Guys Said 0

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