Is it bad to be really straightforward and direct with a guy?

There is a guy that I really like. We've been talking for almost a month now. I would love to have more with him. I would love to be in a relationship with him one day. I want him to be mine. From what I know about him so far he has everything I need and want in a man. Since the first day i met him i just had a gut feeling that he could be something good for me. I don't know what he wants though. I don't know if he wants just sex or if he wants more. I was thinking about asking him directly and straightforward what he wants with me, just sex or more. Does he want a friend with benefits or does he want to build something for the long run.. Would that turn him off or turn him away if I'm that direct and straight forward?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I say chill out. Make it known that you like spending time with him and hint at things in the future. Not like when we get married but things like hey that movie looks cool we'll have to watch it together one day. Keep it subtle. Remember you already have what you want. You're sitting in the presence of someone you enjoy so just enjoy it and don't worry to much about the future. If you two like each other the conversation will happen when you're both ready. Don't rush just enjoy and build a relationship with dude.

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    • So I shouldn't ask him if he just wants sex or something more?

    • No if he does just want sex there's a huge chance he's just gonna lie about it. If he wants more it'll be clear sooner or later just be patient. Focus more on building a connection with the guy rather than a status for the relationship. B

    • I see. I understand what you're saying. I guess I should just focus on building a connection with him instead. I guess what he wants will be clear one day.

What Guys Said 10

  • You have to strike the right balance and be cool, calm, and collective about it. This one girl that I never spoke to liked me and I had to sit next to her during a speech and not in 2 minutes she was cuddling my arm and calling me boo. I got the fuck out of the long story short.

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  • I think that's what most guys want, a girl that is straightforward because that way they don't have to question whether a girl likes them or not, that can be pretty stressful. So no I don't think it's bad and you should go for it

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    • Thanks =) I just hate not knowing things lol I start feeling anxious like I HAVE to know =)

  • I've always been caught of guard by direct women. That being said it is a very nice change of pace. No guess work, no games, just this is what II want are you interested. It's nice.

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  • No. Guys love it when you initiate the relationship. Not only does it boost their confidence, it also let's them know you like them. If he reacts negatively, just continue being friends or move on.

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  • It's not bad at all, I like straight forward people and people who are direct because that's the type of guy I am.

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  • I like a girl that's straight forward with me, and I will like you even more. I knew this one girl that was very assertive and I can't stop following her around.

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  • direct is always good but do it with style not "what do you want from me?"

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  • I wish the girl I took out the other day was like you. I have only known her two weeks but I just get this feeling when I am around her that she is extremely special and I would like a long term relationship with her. I think I came on too strong and scared her away though. She's not replying to my texts/calls.

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  • if you ask him to be friends with benefits then you can kiss the romance godbye

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    • I don't want to be friends with benefits. I wasn't going to ask him to be that with me I was going to ask what he wants, i just used that as an example, but thats not what i want. I was going to ask what he wants with me so I know if I want to continue or not because I only want a relationship with him. So you're saying I shouldn't ask him what he wants?

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    • Thank you. I think I'll ask tomorrow or this weekend. It's better to get know sooner than later.

    • When it comes to potential relationships, sooner is always better than later

  • Not being strait forward actually just pisses off a lot people, unless you are one of those types that loves the whole game thing. If he is turned off by that, and it comes naturally to you, it's not your problem. If he wants something, he'll come around either way.

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    • So I should ask? Because I hate not knowing things.

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    • I see. Thank you so much for your input and advice =)

    • My pleasure ;)

What Girls Said 2

  • Nope its always best to be straightforward. If thats a turn off from him then fuck him, he isn't worth it.

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  • It's good to ask but don't have sex with him now

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    • Yea, I wont. U think it's better to wait until later down the road to have sex with a person. I think I will ask the next time I talk to him.

    • I think that is better to wait until you're in a relationship.

    • Me too

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