What's the best way to ask a girl out?

I've never been in a relationship before. I'm very shy and it's incredibly difficult to approach a girl when you're shy. For you girls who complain about guys, be glad that you don't have to break your void of shyness and ask someone out like we do. Not to mention the feeling of being rejected after you mustered up so much courage to do it. Anyway every time I've ever asked a girl out, I've gotten friendzoned and I'm not sure why.

Over the years it's just gotten extremely discouraging and I just wonder nowadays why bother? Anyway I digress. The reason I asked this is because despite my difficulties, I can usually tell when a girl is interested in me but I'm never sure if she is just super friendly, sexually attracted to me or just mildy interested in me. There are 2 girls that I work with (both of which are very very attractive) and I can tell that they like me.

I've wanted to ask either of them out for a while but they both work in a totally different unit than me so I rarely see them and usually when I do, they are not alone (which makes me even more shy). What do I do? Are any of you girls dating shy guys? How did you 2 end up together?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • the fact that they like you is great, so it won't be too hard to get them to actually say yes. I am not in a relationship with a shy guy, but here's a few things..

    Asking a girl out can be intimidating, but it's nice to go in with an almost carefree attitude. You shouldn't make it too high pressure, like it's a huge deal, but more casual. Don't make it like you're begging her, don't say please. Then again it shouldn't look like a pity invite, so avoid any "if you want to" or really just don't use the word "if". If asking her to dinner seems to serious, lunch is way more laid back.
    Try just meeting up with her whenever she's alone, compliment her casually, then say "Join me for lunch at ____?" It's that simple.
    When she says yes pick up the tab. It's just manners, and some girls come to expect that. If she insists you don't, then let her (it's better not to make a scene) but if she doesn't say anything just pay.

    Anyway I really hope this helps. I'm sorry if it sounds complicated - it shouldn't be. The key is to be natural and friendly, try to muster up some confidence and I'm sure she'll say yes. ;)

    Good luck!!

    Of course I personally would probably be okay with a guy I like coming up and saying. "You're gorgeous - go out with me to _____." But I get that it might not be that attainable for a shy person.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Just make a conversation and stop being SHY! I was told to STOP being shy, it was hard and you need to stop making it bigger than it seems. Chill out, don't over think things, be calm, cool and collected. It might be a little nerve racking but get over it man, you can't be shy all your life or I mean you can but just try not to? lol There are some girls that ask out guys but then guys typically look at that as being desperate and a guy asking a girl out is normal so there are those standards so don't make it look like its our fault that guys ask first. There is NOT book or rule just something society planted in our heads you know.

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  • "I'm just wondering if you would like to hang out sometime, like meet up at starbucks for a good chat?"

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  • Seriously men over-think this way too much. If you want to ask her out simply walk up to her and ask and if she says no it's not the end of the world

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    • Well I'm 23 years old and all but one have been "no" so I feel like there is obviously something wrong. The one that wasn't a no resulted in us spending 2 days together and in the end she said "Oh I thought you were kidding when you asked me out, I thought it was just a friendly thing"

    • I'm 25 and I've only been asked out 3 times (no joke). You're young, don't start freaking out yet.

  • If you think either of them like you, then just ask them. I know its way easier said than done, but if they like your personality as a friend and seem to be flirty around you than go for it. The worst she can say is no, and then you are no worse off than you are now. Good luck if you do ask her! :)

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  • Be very honest be yourself, be cute or funny if your a funny guy :P don't try to be some smooth talking pickup artist girls don't really go for that

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  • You should defiantly take charge, Ask her for a casual date and see if it goes from there. Do not have a mind set that you are going to fail, be confident but not cocky. But, also know what kind of date you want it to be.

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What Guys Said 0

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