How do you deal with a jealous and paranoid boyfriend?

My boyfriend is constantly assuming of being unfaithful and doesn't trust me. I don't flirt with other guys or even bother to talk to other guys. But he'll still accuse me. The other night I went over his place for the night and he was at a neighbors so his roommate let me in and I went out on his porch and his roommate followed me to check put the new chairs that my boyfriend just got. Literally a couple seconds later my bf comes out of his neighbors apartment and he looks angry. I asked if he was okay and he yelled at me and accused me of smoking pot and why I was so close to him. Which I wasn't doing. He continues to get mean and tell me he doesn't trust me and I thought he was going to break up with me. Anyways I got really upset because he caught me off guard because I wasn't doing anything wrong. He wouldn't talk to me the rest of the night and gave me the cold shoulder. Just saying he's not going to talk about his feelings. I was crying by then and was saying that I can't tolerate being treated like this and I asked him if he wants me to go home and he said please stay but continued to be an asshole to me. I went to the porch to smoke a cigarette and to get my thoughts together and he came out like 20 minutes later and accused me of waiting for his roommate to come console me. So I just went inside and got into bed and he was saying some some things. I told him I want him to console but your too cold. Then I went to sleep and the next morning he didn't say a word to me and got dressed for work and I got dressed and just told him I'm leaving and left. I tried to call him but he didn't answer. Like wtf is this guys problem. I've only been supportive and good to him and he still accuses me off cheating.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You say you can't tolerate it, but you stay. Pretty weird, huh?

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    • Yeah, because she loves him and you don't just give up on people you love over stupid odds and ends like that. I give you props! Good luck!

    • You certainly give up on people who are disrespecting you and treating you like shit. There's a short leap from yelling at her for "cheating" and then hitting her for "cheating". Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.

What Guys Said 3

  • You can not heal him : he's clearly been feeling insecure for many years. Jealousy and distrust are deeply rooted in his personality.
    You can find many better guys.

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  • Tell him about it... in an adult discussion. If he won't listen start preparing yourself to leave.
    I went through something similar... they don't change and luckily for you there are a lot of good guys around.

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  • You don't deal with it. Dump his jealous ass and find a decent dude!

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What Girls Said 4

  • Honestly I wouldn't deal with it. Its impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone like that. If he wasn't willing to let go of that paranoia and distrust I would end the relationship.

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  • Jealously can be very dangerous, he may not psychically harm you but he is (possibly) inadvertently ruining your relationships with others and you as a person. Tell him to shape up by seeing a counsellor or he can f**ck off.

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  • You dump him

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  • I am sorry but you're wasting your time... he's not going to change
    I suggest you leaving that unhealthy relationship.
    Good luck

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