Has anyone ever dated someone with Aspergers Syndrome?

I dated this weird guy for a few months - I couldn't figure him out, he was so strange and emotionally cold. Self centered, uptight and sexually rigid - I drove myself nuts thinking it was me! It was like he was a robot, he had no empathy or concern for me at all. The other day someone that knows him told me he has Aspergers. I looked it up and he fit the profile perfectly! Anyone else ever date someone like this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have Aspergers, just a very mild form. I am a very intimate and very touchy guy, but I am still a virgin. I have cuddled with a girl before, and I was often the one to pursue it.

    I just have never had a girlfriend.

    • The guy I dated was cuddly simetimes, usually after sex and in the morning. He was more of an extreme case. Do you find you have a hard time processing and understanding your emotions? Having "delayed reactions" to your thoughts or behavior?

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    • So his cruelly dumping me because he saw other guys hitting on me (and may be paranoid that I may have reciprocated), would not be out of character?

    • I don't know, that is just me.

      With Aspergers, sometimes it is difficult to understand things that are not presented in a direct manner, like cues, body language, tone of voice, etc.

      Sometimes, it is best to be direct, not aggressive, but assertive. If you voice to him how you feel about him and really show compassion, it would be more reassuring and comforting to him.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Asperger's syndrome is a myth that intellectually lazy professionals use when they don't have the competence to actually utilize the information by patients to work on an actual solution. If you lack sleep, you're emotional and anxious, you'll get bi-polar. But if you just ask a guy off the street, he'll tell you to get some sleep and learn to enjoy life.

    My point is, there isn't really ASD guys, there's just persons who suffer symptoms from various effects and you're just asking about whether someone has ever dated someone who displays such symptoms. Now, that being said, this broadens the scope. I'd say if professionals are likely to diagnose someone who's analytic, very well spoken, calm and not irrational, you'll have plenty of contenders for ASD.

    I'm just saying it's a categorical error.

  • Honestly, I'm a bit skeptical about "Aspergers". It just seems like a buzzword to describe people who are disconnected from their emotions. I wonder if there's significant proof that "Aspergers" is "more common in males", who are coincidentally those who are taught to suppress their emotions so that they wouldn't "seem effeminate despite that they must be masculine because they're male".

  • I have the same condition and an incredibly similar social standard. Though i'm less intimate because i'm extremely cautious. I have hugged girls though never exactly been to that level. Also i usually try to show an active interest and try to talk. Although trying to come off as caring and not looking self-centered has been a balancing act.


What Girls Said 2

  • I dated a guy with Aspergers for a year, at the start (I always knew about his condition though) I wanted to break up with him, but felt guilty. However, after about 6 months, he started to kiss me on the cheek, and take me out to places, and ask my opinion on things. Before that, he really didn't care about me much, but then he made me feel special. I like to think that I would still be with him now, because he made me happy, if I didn't have to move away.

    • Same thing - for six months he almost never kissed me or was affectionate, never asked me about my life or interests, was obsessed with his art (he's an artist) and would dismiss me when he was busy and didn't want me around. It started to really play with my mind. At 6 mos he got closer to me, bought me a gift, wanted to do more things with me, got cuddlier... Then he dumped me coldly out of the blue. He tried to get me back and when I reciprocated, he backed off again. Too much work and mind games, I totally cut him off.

  • My best friend has Aspergers. It can be difficult at times but he is a really nice guy and we get through it