Why do strangers, especially men, think it's okay to touch your arm or shoulders?

I mean you don't know me. So it's like wtf. They can be talking to you or a group, saying something random. This has happened to me before. Another thing is I was at the bar and this guy told me I should dance and he started touching my arm. Like wtf. I said I didn't want to and he told me I shouldn't be serious
What's wrong with men
I feel like one day I'm going to get violent


0|0
2|12

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's normal and natural for human beings to touch one another like this, in most cases it's just a sign of friendliness. If you don't like it, you can just try ignore it but you can't condemn people for doing it. It isn't harrassment.

    What is unnatural and abnormal is the idea that people should never touch or be touched - numerous psychological studies have shown that touch is beneficial to human wellbeing, and that people who are deprived of touch experience negative effects on their health and wellbeing. Babies deprived of touch can have severe long-term damage to their psychological wellbeing - touch-deprived infants can be permanently psychologically damaged. Regular touch even protects against cognitive decline, e. g. alzheimers. Touch is natural and healthy and we need it.

    If you honestly feel like you're "going to get violent" over such a small thing, then you should consider that it might not be the men that are "wrong" here... feelings of violence are bad, if you really feel like you might be violent, I would honestly and with kindness suggest you do some digging into your childhood to try figure out why you feel such intense negative reactions to something so small. My experience is that those kinds of intense feelings are often a symptom of something like earlier child abuse.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Also, remember that people can't know whether you like it or not. Some people like it. I like it if strangers touch me in those small simple ways.

    • Show All
    • So is nobody on earth supposed to touch anyone else on earth just in case the other person doesn't like it? That's patently ridiculous. How can they know you don't like it?

    • @"Shut the fuck up. I do not like strangers touching me. That's it. Who the fuck do they think they're."

      Sorry but you sound like you have some serious anger issues.

What Guys Said 11

  • Pray you'll never meet an Italian.

    Learn giving guys "the look" so they stop touching you. But be aware that it will push them away from you, since they will loose a very basic part of human interaction, and will find it weird trying to get to know you.

    1|1
    0|0
    • I do that sometimes and they sometimes make a comment
      "Oh lighten up"
      "Why so serious"
      Or sometimes just sorry

      I guess some strangers don't get some people don't like being touched. If you're not my friend, boyfriend or family you will never touch me

    • Show All
    • @Asker That anyone around you even indulges your rude, psycho, violent BS temper tantrums is amazing.

      Hey everyone on earth, please all stop touching anyone else as it makes this woman violently angry.

    • No I was giving you examples of things that you can't know before you try & what else people usually don't mind about fuckwit. (As you seem to understand sentences involving "fuck" a lot better.)

  • It's normal for someone to show their friendless
    i don't mind being touched but I won't touch anyone
    it's nothing personal

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's a way to show compassion and friendliness... but these people lack the awareness that they are making some people uncomfortable with that.

    0|0
    0|0
    • They also lack common sense

  • I never touch randlm girls lol so its not right and trouble can be caused Why is it OK for girls to do that and its called flirty but if a guy does he's a creep. Theirs 2 sides to it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its all flirting. A slight touch on the arm or shoulder is innocent in the eyes of the guy, it doesn't mean he's trying to seduce you or be creepy. Just let them know you're not interested, or that you dont like strangers touching you, and any respectful guy won't do it again. Also, i might add, women do this a lot too. You may not personally do it so you might not notice but its not just a male thing i'm sure its just more of a "human" thing.

    0|1
    1|0
  • It's just being flirty. A touch on the arm is not sexual harassment.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Unless you didn't explain it well enough, it sounds like standard social touch to me. Some people are sensitive about being touched, you may be one of them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its normal human contact.

    0|2
    0|0
  • one day you'll get violent, haha that's cute :)

    0|0
    0|0
    • It is? I dunno, sounds a bit psycho to me

    • Show All
    • Well if she wasn't serious when she said it, then it's cute. But if she was serious... psycho!

    • Wow, based on the amount of F words that this chick is using, she is kinda crazy lol. Don't know why men would be interested in her.

  • i have wondered also why do women touch men whenever they want, but men can't. this is what you call equality?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don't want equality. Don't put words in my mouth

  • People of both genders do this. Men do it more I believe but some people are not polite and or do not know their boundaries.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • They are flirting. I was at the park once sitting talking to my friend and her guy friend. I stood up and he said "oh wowww you are so short!!" and I said "WOW REALLY? Thanks, I didn't notice!" so he lifted me up and said "well you are tall now!" so I tossed his hat off of his head and kicked until he let go. Like holy, I am not that easy to get. Its disgusting I know, they just wanna hitch and they wanna hitch fast.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don't touch strangers myself, but the men I know who touch strangers usually aren't doing so to be flirty, .. I think some grow up in households where it's normal to touch others and so that's what they do. My one work colleague is like this.. maybe it's a European thing but it definitely doesn't mean he likes the people he's touching, it's just his habit.

    • Show All
    • Me OTOH I grew up in a household where nobody ever touched at all - not even ever a hug from your own parents, and siblings that also never touched, and I hated it, hated it, hated it, it's so horrible. I vowed to be the opposite for my children, I want them never to have a shortage of loving hugs. I think touching is generally a good healthy positive thing, and many studies bear that out.

    • I agree, the players use you. I can see where you're getting at though

  • They're flirting with you. It's as simple as that.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...