Dating, I think I am loosing her, don't understand her behaviour! Please advice?

We have been dating for 3months now, chatting online and seeing each other. Sometimes when I acted, cuddled, kissed in a chick, touched, ie tried to escalate. She did say that I touched her physically and she didn't really like that. Through time we went to my vacation house twice and slept together but with no sex. She has a low income job, and I didn't have a job when I met her, and got a job recently. On every date I paid for it. I once got a bit creapy, and jealous, and we had a chat 3times about it, and her saying that she got out if the relationship and she doesn't want to go fast. What bothered me is that she got a job and isn't telling me about it. Working in the evenings, limiting the time we could see each other to 1-2 times a week. We spoke sexually, but on my end being a virgin (if it's a bad thing... Can't say). I have a feeling that she uses me. When I try to move on she sometimes speaks like a victim. When something bothers her she speaks up, when I don't like something, then I am creapy and controlling... And I don't really like that. Please advice! With this her act I reacted two times and acted like a boy... But we discussed that, she said that she needs a man. Please advise to understand her, if she uses me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I usually don't use this kind of lingo in my responses, but dude, you need to drop this girl like a bad habit. Stat. She IS using you. Okay so you're a virgin, not great but not the end of the world either. Little piece of advice, don't ever mention that to a girl unless she asks you. Which at your age they really won't. Most, but not all girls will wonder why you're a virgin and it will turn them off at least a little. Now if you find a woman, a good woman, then she won't care. She might even think it's endearing. That's kinda what you need. And this broad is the antithesis of that. Run bro. Run.

    "she said that she needs a man." -

    You will keep running into this if you don't get a handle on this bro. Don't be hard on yourself though. I didn't get a handle on dating/women till my late 20s. But this is something you need to handle. And you already feel and know that. I can tell. If you want some extra help you can message me. If not it's all good.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Although I can't really tell you what her intentions are, because this was confusing enough to me. She's a bit.. all over the place. Either she's not sure what she wants herself, or she's using you as a back up plan, like, she has interest in another man, and she keeps you around to make herself feel better when he doesn't want her. Or something completely different!

    But, I do think, you should try your best to move on. Tell her this isn't working for you, then drop it, don't fall for the usually act when she tried to manipulate you back into it. If she really cares for you, she will sort her shit out and apologise and explain herself, and try to make it up to you. If not, then she wasn't worth it any ways.



What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think she's using you I think you two might be looking for two different things. No it is not a bad that that you're a virgin, it'll happen when it happens. Don't try to force (metaphorically and physically speaking) trying to lose your V card otherwise you really will be creepy. If she gets a new job that's her decision to make. If it's not working out then don't worry about it, take a step back, and then decide whether you should move on or reevaluate your relationship because where it stands now it doesn't seem like either of you are very happy with it. I could be wrong but I'm just going off of your post.