Did he just say all those things so he could sleep with me?

So I met this guy on Tinder and it seemed like we got along great. He asked me out for a drink the next day but unfortunately I had to wait until the weekend due to prior commitments and work. He would text me every morning and we would basically spent the entire day talking. He would tell me how excited he was for our date, how adorable and fun to talk to I was, and he would even make suggestions for future dates and thing we could do. Our date finally rolled around and we had a really fun time. He was quite touchy feely when we were making out, and sometimes we would just sit and cuddle throughout the night. At the end of the night he asked if we were going back to my place, and he said just because we go there doesn't mean we have to have sex. I tried really hard to resist him but he came on very strongly and against my better judgement we did end up sleeping together. He slept over and we cuddled all night. The next day he left, and as we were saying goodbye there was no "I'll see you soon" or any attempt to make future plans. He also hasn't texted me. Was he basically just sweet talking me to get laid?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • @"Was he basically just sweet talking me to get laid?"

    Surely you find this out by talking to him a bit more, maybe going on another date.

    Women seem to be always trying to "read the tea leaves" after something like a first date or first sex. Instead of trying to divine knowledge out of thin air, why not just speak to the guy a bit more, try another date... I'll never understand this.

    It sounds to me like he actually liked you. That he wanted to sleep with you is just a given as he's a guy, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't also actually 'like' like you. His non-response could be as simple as trying to navigate society's BS little "rules" that you're not supposed to text too quickly or whatever.

    Sorry, don't mean to sound critical, I'm just speaking generally.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I think any time a guy says he's not going to try to have sex with you, that means he is going to try to have sex with you. I hope he was looking for a relationship and not a one night stand (did you ask him what he's looking for?) but I'm not holding my breath.

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  • "So I met this guy on Tinder"

    Nothing more needed to be said. Tinder is not a tool for forming relationships. It's a tool for random booty calls. Wake up girl.

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    • I'm well aware that Tinder is used for hook-ups, I've used the app for awhile and have met many guys who made their intentions for sex clear. I guess this guy just seemed like maybe it could be different... I didn't think guys would resort to inviting you for beach dates with their little cousins, or talking about what they are looking for in a future partner, in order to get laid. Guess I was sadly mistaken.

    • Tinder is not just used for hook-ups. That is it's primary purpose. Let me emphasize this: not it's primary *usage*, but it's primary *PURPOSE*.

      You're kind of like a fish that says, "Oh, I know, I know. Fishing hooks are used for catching fish. But most hooks are cold and uninviting. This hook is different! It is warm and inviting and it offered me a big juicy worm! Nom, nom, nom."

      Don't use Tinder or any other web application that caters to the hook-up community. Only use relationship-oriented applications. And don't have sex with people for at least three months, so you can be sure of their intentions. Anyone can run a good game for a short time. Doing anything else is just courting disaster.

  • Probably. Sorry to hear that. You've been seduced. It sucks I know, it's happened to me once.

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  • Well think about it this way... he probably wouldn't have said it, if he didn't want to sleep with you (didn't like you in that way)

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What Girls Said 1

  • it sounds like he wasn't serious from the start
    red flag 1- asking u out for a drink (s?) may show that the guy wants u to get lubed up with alcohol over getting to know u better
    red flag 2- he was touchy feely on the 1st date
    red flag 3- tried to go back to ur place/get u back to his and told the "just bc u come over doesn't mean well fuck" knowing good and well that was his hope

    it sounds like he just wanted to conquer u. he might text u later this week but don't answer it he's a jerk

    what do u mean u tried really hard to resist him tho? did u agree to have sex b. c if he took it that's another story!

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    • Well at first I told him he should go home, but then we made out a little bit more and I eventually told him he could come over for a bit... that's when he said "Just because I come over doesn't mean we need to have sex". So we got back to my place and we did some more making out, and he kept trying to undo my pants, and I said no and that I couldn't... but he kept trying. I just eventually got too caught up in the moment and let him have his way.

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