Guys approaching you ladies randomly in the public?

How do you feel about a guy approaching you in public. Would you just completely be defensive and not think he is sincere? I have tried my luck in clubs bars and my social circle is pretty small so there is no chance there. I was told to just be nice and sincere and try to talk to you ladies in public. So far no luck, and no I do not say or give creepy vibes out. If you're okay with a guy approaching you in public when does it cross the line that you feel uncomfortable?

Updates:
Please keep in mind you and the stranger would have no idea what the other personality is because you don't know each other! So don't say any of that "omg he just talked to me for my looks" WE DON'T KNOW YOU YET!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • When I see you lurking nearby, staring for a long time and decide that you want to talk to me in public. If you're interested, be discrete and less stalkerish, also don't just touch a girl from behind and just say you look familiar, it's creepy that's crossing the line, I feel like you're invading my personal space. Be natural as much as possible, just say hey how are you, I couldn't help but want come over have a chat with you, if you don't mind then introduce yourself, if sound scripted the girl is going to think you're insincere.

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    • Thanks for the advise and insight! You're gave one of the more helpful opinions!

    • The shorter time you wait the better chance of her giving you her number

What Girls Said 17

  • I'm down with it, but I know it creeps out some of my friends. Personally I prefer someone more blunt and upfront about things.

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    • So how do you react if I were to say Hey, your face...*pause* I like that shit.
      I seem to get more positive reactions than If i tried to genuinely be nice.

    • I would either laugh at you or say "excuse me?" a bit offended. Saying, "I like that shit" is kind of a put off. I don't mind guys being nice, but I would respond better to something that was aggressive and up front but not rude.

  • I personally have never been approached by a guy where it didn't feel awkward as hell.

    It's always the same line: I think you're pretty. Do you have a boyfriend?

    Which then transcends to: If not, would you like one? I'm a good candidate hurr hurr

    DO NOT WANT

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    • What can I say? Most guys out there aren't exactly a very smooth talker. We brain fart all the time when it comes to talking to someone that caught our eye.

    • If the guy is awkward and stumbles over his own words, it's easy to tell he's nervous and I'm cool with that.

      But the guys are usually smug about it instead, which instantly makes alarm bells go off.

      I'm in a relationship, so I reject any advances by default. But if the guy was genuine in his approach, I make sure to let him know he was alright and shouldn't give up.

      My best friend was approached by her now husband as a complete stranger in public. He was friendly and sweet, not pushy at all. They've been married for 8 years now. :)

  • I would like it as long as they didn't act pushy. Like constantly saying how pretty you are or touching you. That creeps me out.

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    • Well how about just telling you. Hey, you caught my eye and I just had to let you know I thought you were (either cute or pretty).

      How would you react to that and would you actually even give the guy a chance?

    • Saying it just once is okay but anymore than that and it comes off as creepy. Don't say sexy, hot, or anything like that. Cute and pretty are nice though.

      If he was nice and funny I don't see why not.

  • I have no problem if he acts casual and friendly, like hey, how are you and other stuff and if I like the guy at first sight I will respond nicely and with a smile. I feel uncomfortable if the guy keeps complimenting me and when he invades my personal space (Like the guy was sitting so close to me and also stared a lot before) and if I don't like the guy, I politely refuse or find an excuse and leave. You can usually tell by the girl's face if she wants to talk to you. And I don't think I would like being approached in a club (I don't go to clubs anyway lol)
    Also I hate retarded pick-up lines, or guys who go like "You're hot, babe. Do you have a boyfriend?" or whistle after the girl. we're not dogs.
    I think a simple introduction and small talk, like how are you, you are cute and asking for number/fb is enough.
    Of course, all of this is speaking as to what I prefer, but I also haven't been approached by many guys. Like 3 at max..
    :)

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  • I usually find it pretty awkward, especially if the guy can't think of anything to talk about and isn't really saying anything other than, "You're pretty. You got a boyfriend? Can I have your number?" Those lines are a pretty good indication that the speaker can't imagine interacting with me in a platonic context, which I find insulting. DO NOT WANT.

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    • Well the average person that would approach you with those lines probably do not have too much experience in talking with women.

      What if the stranger just went up to you and said Hey, you caught my eye and I had to let you know I think you're (either cute or pretty). Then ask for a number for a date?

    • Nope. This great Cracked article sums up my feelings on that best: "Friendship is an endgame state, with a little flag and triumphant music and anywhere from one to six fireworks, depending on how long it took to complete the stage. And romance? That's the secret bonus level -- and if it wasn't, more people would have fucking found it. So when another person wants to be friends with you, it's absurd to presume that the two of you are moving in the exact wrong direction." (From item #1)
      www.cracked.com/.../#ixzz38kEpbcNK
      So instead of going right to those lines, I would suggest you just talking to them like someone you're interested in being friends with. Because I don't know why anyone would want to date a person who doesn't also want to be their friend.

  • I've never been approached, but I wouldn't appreciate being approached in a place like a club or a bar and stuff.

    If you see a lady in more day-to-day public places and you think she's attractive for whatever reason, just go up to her and just give her a compliment. If she doesn't take it well or isn't too enthusiastic over it, just leave it at that and walk away. If she takes it well, just be all "well I'm so-and-so"

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    • So true it's pretty easy when she wants to talk back or not you can tell by the face she makes if she finds you attractive or not too.

    • And if she isn't interested, it probably would make her feel more comfortable if the guy took the hint and didn't continue with the interaction. I would hate unwanted advances.

    • Dude, just say hi and avoid the your "whatever" line. Let your pickup line be the look in your eyes and talk about anything... the weather... her dress, her drink, her anything but something sexual.

  • Sad reality is that most girls will be defensive and uncomfortable when a random stranger approaches them in public. We have to be for our protection. At the same time, how you approach us and what you say first can help us loosen up a little.

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    • Well how about just telling you. Hey, you caught my eye and I just had to let you know I thought you were (either cute or pretty).

      How would you react to that and would you actually even give the guy a chance?

    • That's happened to me a lot and normally I just smile, maybe say thanks, and keep on walking. I would prefer you say something witty, or an interesting fact about the neighborhood etc. That would make me more interested in actually talking to you.

  • normally i'm on the defensive side

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    • It is common to be defensive, but does that instantly equal to no chance for the stranger? If so why?

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    • Got it, what kind of behavior and body language is acceptable to you? I appreciate your honest input.

    • not creepy/not a pervert/good manners/frank guy

  • Im alwsys defensive and rejecting. Im not interested in guys who just thought I was pretty and thats why approached me. I rather get to know guys as friends and then maybe develop deeper feelings.

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    • Well how would you get to develop feelings for me if you reject me for approaching you and we have no friends to get us acquainted.

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    • What makes a co-worker any better than a stranger? How would you know the stranger was not a nice caring genuine person? I agree with you that physical appearance does come second but if you worked at a small shop with no available co-worker and your hobbies aren't exactly going to introduce you to men? What if your social circle was also really small so you are not going to get introduced to any one to be acquainted to. Seems like you're down to strangers. I think you may have to re-evaluate yourself if you have issues with strangers. Not every person out there is there to hurt you.

    • My life goal is not to have a man. Im not so desperate. And my opinion is still: "dont trust strangers" And most people out there infact have hurt me so I trust more my experience than your advice

  • it depends on where and how he approach, if it is a bar area i would be on high alert as the guys there can be up to no good. and if he doesn't send out creepy vibes i would be alright

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  • If you're not cocky about it then there's no reason whya girl would be rude to you.

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  • Nope, I'll pass.

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  • if what you say about not giving off creepy vibes then i have no problem with you approaching me in public

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    • What would you put as creepy? As a guy I would have to say most guys who approach ladies would tell you they are not creepy and not giving off creepy vibes. I appreciate your insights.

    • asking me to come over his place, getting really clingy and desperate

  • I admire how they aren't scared to say something. I still get nervous and shy but I still like it

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  • I like it when he's casual and friendly :)

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  • I'm ok with it as long as there is no physical interaction, but after talking for a while, I will literally disappear, but if the guy looks sincere and nice, I might wanna see him another time.

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    • Any positive and negative experiences you're willing to share? What was it that made you think the stranger was sincere and nice?

  • When they start touching me awkwardly. And use a cheesy pick up line! It will help!

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    • Ma'am I have no idea if touching you awkwardly and using cheesy pick up will help or not could you please rephrase that.

What Guys Said 4

  • I've done that to some girls some like it some don't also have to factor in some like cheesy pick up lines, some like physical subtle touching light touching, also the shorter time you approach them the better, but all in all what really matters is if you're physically attractive to them 90% of looks matters.

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    • up to 70% is still body language..

    • That is a bunch of crap c'mon dude you don't think women don't want to date guys they find physically attractive? Where is the logic in that? I'ts just human behavior.

  • I look forward to hearing this answer, because the 2 main ones contradict each other.

    1. Yes! Guys should always take the shot!
    2. No, it's creepy.

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  • seems like this is one of my main options since i don't have a social circle

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  • super confusing... So guys are supposed to ASK women out. But women get creeped out...

    No wonder guys have stopped asking women out and given up. There is no way to win!

    You ask a girl out and either creep her out. Or you stay silent and do your own thing and women then start to blame men for not taking any action...

    Oh boy... Now I know when that dude told me you can't win against women... so makes sense now!

    Oh crap.. I feel all of the women hitting the thumbs down button now all for speaking out the truth as a guys point of view.

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    • What truth you speak of, exactly?

      Because all I see here is butthurt. Maybe if you weren't so caught up with whining about women, some would approach you lol.

    • British women.. I expected this from your type...

      I won't even waste time commenting on you.

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