Why am I always upset that I don't have a boyfriend?

Every time I see people in relationships I get really sad and wish I had a boyfriend. I'm almost 20 and never really had a serious relationship with a guy before, but I really want to have one. But I get really scared and nervous to talk to guys and whenever I start talking to a guy my brother will call me desperate and say mean things to me, like "oh that guys doesn't actually like you" or "you're ugly and can't get anyone." This only upsets me more because I really want a boyfriend but I don't even know how I could get one or how to approach guys.. Help?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, stand up to your brother and tell him to back off. He's a jerk. Don't listen to him. He should focus on his own dating life, or lack there of.

    It's good that you're talking to guys. Keep doing that. I'd make some friends, and good ones who are supportive. It would help to be happier with yourself and have a higher self-esteem before you jump into a serious relationship. You're only 19; that's really young, so don't worry so much.

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What Guys Said 6

  • 1. First, your brother is a jerk and trying to control you. Tell him to fuck off. It is in your early twenties that you need to date and figure things out.
    2. You need to go to where the guys are. Clubs, meetups, sports, classes, job, etc. It does not really matter. Men will notice you if you are available, and with a little encouragement, will come to talk to you first.

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  • Dont be upset. first make friends on network sites. then u will be able to make friends in real life also. IF U WANT I CAN BE UR FRIEND.

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  • You need a better group of friends. If you have good friends they should be able to support your emotional needs.

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    • But I don't even have any friends, I'm kinda anti-social..

    • What are your hobbies? Find some friends through hobbies you enjoy.

  • You sound just like me I also never had a serious relationship before, I also get really scared and nervous to talk to women or know how to approach women. Women find me really ugly. Do you want to be friends?

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  • Same reason I am always upset I have no girlfriend. It just sucks to be alone.

    Just say hi.

    Flirt with your eyes from a distance. Your eyes can be like tanks and win over any man in seconds.

    Look into your targets eyes.
    Wait a second.
    Then let a big warm smile flood over your face, like he is an old friend.
    That works 90% of the time.

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  • You're coming off as desp.

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    • Why? Because I'm talking to a guy, it's not like I did anything wrong i just wanna find someone..

    • "you want to find someone"... love comes when you least expect it

    • Yes I know it does. But the only way I'll meet a guy is by talking to them. Every time I start talking to a guy I could potentially see a boyfriend I get these mean comments.

What Girls Said 3

  • It really stinks to be alone. One thing though if you go to every place expecting to meet a guy, you will most likely come out disappointed, I know this from experience. There's no way that you can really predict when you will have that relationship and even if you do talk to guys that doesn't guarantee that you will get into a relationship. Do not pay attention to your brother or that will get you down. Who really cares about his opinion anyways? All the guys in the world are different from your brother. As hard as it is do not go through everyday wishing to be in a relationship, this will make you miserable and more likely to accept a bottom of the barrel guy just so you can have a relationship. Live life for yourself right now, granted be nice to people, but go out shopping, have a cup of coffee, spoil yourself etc.

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    • Ik that going to places and meeting guys isn't how I'll find a relationship but isn't it a start? I mean if I don't talk to them how will a potential boyfriend ever come into my life? It may not happen right away but the right guy will come along sooner or later no? I just have a hard time talking to guys and don't know how to work up the courage to even say 'hi' to a guy...

    • It is a start, I'm just saying don't get your expectations too high. Go w/the flow and if you do see a guy when you go somewhere, start a casual convo w/him w/no expectations.

  • pfft... I'm 24 and I've never had a real boyfriend. I've dated but it never lead to a relationship. There was a guy who liked me 2 years ago who was trying really hard but there was no chemistry. I value that over anything.

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  • It's easier to approach a guy than a girl. Be confident and smile a lot. A smile says a lot. In order to not get nervous I act like we are just friends. Just be yourself show him who you are and ALWAYS think positively. I think that's the key. You have to make the guys want to be around you. So think of reasons of why someone would like to be around you and you'll know what to do next.

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