Am I in a relationship? I don't really know, but I think that I am, but at the same time I think I'm not?

I have known him for more than 2 years, and we're super close. One day, he said that we are super mega best friends and then the next day, he referred to himself as my boyfriend. I kind of lead him on by creating a sexual imagine with him and then, a few days later, I texted him, "no labels, okay?" And since then he hasn't been treating me the same way. Since we're living in different countries, he usually texts me before he goes to bed, saying goodnight "babe". After I sent him the " no labels" text, he hasn't called me babe. Am I a bitch? Are we really in a relationship? Help!!

Note:We've been talking to each other for more than 2 years, and I really want to be in a relationship with him, but I'm afraid of having my heart broken.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To answer your question on you calling off labels making you a bitch, from the way you've described, you weren't being a bitch. But I get the feeling that you thought calling off labels means your relationship with him has gotten worse. I mean, sure he has noticeably changed after that and most likely this change is because of what you said but this does not prove your relationship with him has been ruined.

    For you to determine whether you are committed to one another is going to depend on a few things. One thing for you to think about on whether you are in a committed relationship with this guy is to answer straight up: Do you *feel* like you are in a relationship? I'm guessing your thoughts on that question would be "I can't really tell. I feel like we are close but I want him to feel just as close me as I do to him". In which case your answer would be "no you are not *feeling* as if you are in a committed relationship" (which does not mean you are in one or not). If you've had experience with being committed to a partner in the past you should have a good idea how that feels like and that is precisely where you want your relationship with him to be.

    If you haven't had experience or aren't familiar enough with the feeling of being involved in a commitment then you may not know what I'm speaking about up until this point but just make a note of it as it may be helpful in the future. Basically if you felt very sure that you are in a committed relationship with him then your mind wouldn't be wondering in doubt.

    Some advice on what could make your situation better is for you reach out to him and, to put it simply, connect with him more. You could try and text him a little more often than you do already. It is a good idea to make clear to him that you care for him as well, that it makes you happy when you get to message him and a compliment to his personality would be good too. If the messaging goes well then you're relationship with him should be just fine.

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    • I sent him a long text, apologizing about my conflicting behaviours and I even said that I completely understand if he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. Two days later, he texted me and things are kinda back to normal now. He calls me "gurl" instead of "babe" (he used to just call me gurl) and yeah. Does this signify anything?

    • I am so very sorry that I have not been active on here to respond back to your next question. Since you asked this anonymously there really isn't anyway to message you directly so I will just comment back here.

      I won't answer your last question yet since it is likely you do not want advice on that anymore. If you have any questions, then just let me know and I'll try my best to answer them.

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't fully understand the situation, but my crush and I (Whom I know in person) talk on Snapchat for over 5 hours a day. We talk a lot sure, she calls me babe I call her baby etc (All casual). If she said "no labels, okay?" I actually probably wouldn't understand, and stop calling her babe. I think when you sent the no labels text, you expressed how you're uncomfortable, and if that's not what you meant, he might've thought it.

    Sorry if I come across as stupid, I don't really know what i'm talking about.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You're not a bitch but you're not in a relationship. You telling him "no labels" comes across as you not wanting to be in a relationship. In his position I would interpret that message the same way.
    Everyone is afraid of having their heartbroken but you can't avoid it unless you stay single for the rest of your life. Sometimes you have to risk it.

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