Girls: If a girl always waits for her BF to be the one to initiate affectionate gestures, is she selfish because she is only thinking about herself?

Girls: If a girl always waits for her BF to be the one to initiate affectionate gestures, is she selfish because she is only thinking about herself

I think she is because she is ignoring the fact that guys need to feel wanted as well

  • Yes she is selfish
    Vote A
  • No she isn't selfish
    Vote B
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • in order to maintain the position of initiator a lot pf guys accuse women of being clingy for ridiculous reasons or no reason at all. not saying thats you. or thta kind of guy is the guy anyone should have as a bf. or that its reasonable for her to assume instead of just talking it over. just saying many guys assume women are clingy pretty easily so maybe she's just making sure you know she's not. that could be a reason.

    on the other hand if you clearly expressed interest in affection and she ignored it. then she's not a good gf for you. I don't know what her reason is but she's disregarding your needs without communicating.

    talk to her. if she's unwilling to communicate oor put effort in, dump her.

    • "jealously protect", would be more apt way of putting it.-as apposed to "maintain"

    • also neither A nor B.

      C we dont know if she's selfish. you should talk to her to get to the bottom of things-if you care. if you dont dont waste your time or hers.


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Girls Said 6

  • I feel like girls have a reason for doing that. It might be selfish but not intentionally - for the most part I think girls do it for reassurance, maybe because of insecurities and this is the girl's way of having that reassurance without saying anything directly.

    • But don't they realize that guys also need reassurance or do they not care

    • For the most part yeah... there are some girls who don't care and that's one way of realizing they aren't with you for the right reasons. But generally girls do realize that guys need reassurance, and maybe all you have to do is make this clear. This is probably why communication is so important in a relationship because it makes all these little bumps and roadblocks disappear.

  • Absolutely.

    A lot of women believe it's men's jobs to do the wooing and she just needs to sit on her arse and decide whose advances she prefers.

    Nope, doesn't work like that, honey. If she never ever initiates any affection, contact, sex, then she's either clinically shy or full of herself.

    • Are most girls like that

    • Show All
    • I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.

    • Whatever floats your boat

  • Assuming he has shown/expressed that he wants affectionate gestures, then yes she is being selfish.

  • I think it's selfish if anyone expects the other person in the relationship to initiate all the affection.

  • Personally, I think it depends. You never know their reason for waiting on the boy to do the move. Some girls struggle with keeping their feelings inside them, instead of letting them out. Others are just scared to because they are terrified of what the guy's reaction is going to be, and that they might lose them as a friend. You never know what the girls intentions for not initiating it are.

  • It's not necessarily selfish. She might not want thim to think of her as clingy.


What Guys Said 1

  • Haha, well I couldn't refrain myself from commenting here. I mean, it happens in my part of the world, predominantly. Guys, like in most parts, are the initiators and the buffers, too. Lol. Don't know why is it with women. You ask them, and they'd give the lame, laid-back excuse that "If a girls starts initiating then she could come off as desperate and hence won't initiate", and some would, unreasonably say that guys are always the initiators. It infuriates me, totally.