Please help! How do I get her to talk to me again?

I really need your help. So a month or so ago I was at a party and met this wonderful woman (I am 33 and she is 35). We talked all night and ended up making out and spending the night and the day until the afternoon together. We talked all the next week all day everyday and went to a party together that Friday then spent the rest of the weekend together.

The same trend kept occurring the next week until she said she had to cancel our loose plans Friday to play volleyball with friends. I didn’t take this too well and got a little upset, but just explained I was bummed and wanted to see her. The next day we talked a little less and she said something my ex-wife used to say I and I got a little upset and said something a little over the line. She stopped talking to me for four days until I finally got a hold of her. We had make up sex and talked for three hours until the wee hours of the morning. That next day seemed great like back to the way it was, then she backed off a bit and I sort of blew up her phone.

She said to me the next day she was just really scared I wanted something more serious than her. I said no. We are both still healing from nasty divorces and I just enjoy spending time with you so let just let what happens happens. She agreed.

FYI during the week of our make up I had a cancer scare which was in large part causing me to blow up her phone and over communicate. I explained this to her and she seemed to understand. Anyway the next day I sent her a funny text she replied then I asked what she was doing and never heard back from her. Since I have texted her three times and received no response and called once. Including a long text that explained that I apologized for burdening her with my worries about cancer (I am fine by the way) it has been 10 days and I haven’t heard from her.

What do I do? Although I am not in any way capable of serious relationship, I know down to my core this woman is special. Help me I need advice!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly I would say if you really want to salvage what you two have, give her a little space. Even though you don't want a serious relationship, the multiple texts and attempts at contact are probably a little too much for her. Let her cool down, maybe she has a lot going on right now or just needs some time to herself for whatever reason before she's ready to get back to where y'all were. If she feels like you're more into her than she is you, she might scare easily.

    Personally, when a guy sends me multiple messages after I didn't reply to his initial point of contact (whether I'm at work, sleeping, or just not into talking at the time), I psych myself out and even if he says it's not at all serious, I let myself begin to withdraw from our relationship/friendship. It's a lot more fun when everyone's on the same page.

    Good luck, and I'm glad to hear the cancer scare was nothing more.


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What Girls Said 2

  • You were a jerk to her and she's realized that. Stop being a jerk and maybe this won't happen again.

  • I'm sorry but you blew it. The getting angry, blowing up her phone for any reason and kind of acting possessive. Those are not good traits in anyone let alone some to potentially date. Get yourself under control and then try dating again. But this woman I'm sorry she's gone, I would not put up with your behavior.


What Guys Said 1

  • Man you over texted on a really big scale, usually a rule of thumb is that if she doesn't text back then wait a day to text her again, if still nothing then wait 2 days and so on. I think you sort of scared her away with all of this and has become apprehensive. I would say just to not text her for a week, let her gather her thoughts and just ask if she wants to do something together when you do text her. If she doesn't text back I'm afraid you'll have to, sadly, move on.