Hot and cold - Is he avoiding me?

I have been dating my boyfriend for 10 months. We have incredible trust and respect for each other. I am 26 and this is the longest relationship I've ever had (so does my boyfriend). We both have very busy lives (long distance) but we keep up with each other via messaging. I am very understanding when he doesn't message back for hours because I know how busy his job can be (and so is mine). But sometimes I can see him online on Facebook and such and yet he still doesn't get back to me. However, when we are together he is all for me; I get his undivided attention. When I bring up the topic of him being distant he says that its good that I am being observant and cautious in our relationship but there is nothing to worry about and I should trust him 100% (and I do, he is a very religious person so I am sure he wouldn't cheat whatsoever). I guess I am just confused as to whether its all in my head and I'm just being needy or he is trying to catch a break from me and avoiding me. I don't know what to think! Any advice is appreciated.


Most Helpful Girl

  • LD relationships are one of the hardest relationships to have of any. It takes two people to put a lot of time and concerted effort into this, for this needs More nurturing and nursing than the others. I, for one, can tell you first hand.
    You both seem to have it together for '10 months now,' and although you lead 'Busy lives' you always manage to keep the lines of Communication open And----Flowing... Even if it takes a little more time than you want.
    Perhaps his Real Reason for 'Being distant is He Sees you on Facebook and is getting the impression, although is Most likely Trustworthy, you don't Trust him There and are Invading his Time and space with his friends. And probably the reason-------He still doesn't get back to me.
    Everyone needs their space, guys and girls alike. In any good, healthy relationship, Giving someone you love some room to breathe, makes them Happier, the relationship Healthier, and brings couples Closer together, no matter how far they live from one another.
    Although you have a great relationship, and Do have this distance between you, you may be saying that you feel being apart, he has plenty of space. Yes, very true, but in essence with another sort of 'Space' is this 'Privacy' Point that he may be trying to hint to you he needs.
    Yes, I have to agree with you 'He is trying to catch a break from you,' but not so much putting you on his pay no mind list, just Trying to send you a meaningful message of What he may need as his----Break.
    Perhaps you both can discuss this together, get to the bottom of it, and end your Confusion once and for all.
    Good luck. xx


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Is it more than just him not sending you messages on FB when he's online? Or does that particularly happen often?

  • I would say either he is avoiding constant contact for whatever reason, or he is just very busy with other people.

  • You're okay. You're just being human. We all have our moments do don't beat yourself up about it. It's okay to feel nervous every once in awhile but just remind yourself that it's out of your control and whatever happens you'll be fine. I doubt he's doing anything and so do you so just believe yourself and believe in him. He sounds like a good guy to me.


What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!