Other people with low self confidence how do you deal with feeling unattractive?

I know everything isn't about looks but in my experience looks matter a lot. I know I'm unattractive and I wish I wasn't. I can see that I get treated differently from attractive people not just by girls but by people in general and it makes me feel like shit. I get depressed sometimes because of it and I used to self harm because of it (almost a month of no self harm). Its very hard for me to deal with it because my family values looks and attractiveness a lot and they resent me because I don't have a lot of friends and don't talk to a lot of girls in particular? How do you guys and girls deal with it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel the same. But doesn't everyone? Isn't every single person in this shallow world insecure about something? (Mainly looks) This world, even if they never say so, is based on looks, status, money, etc. Never judge a book by its cover? What a joke. First impression=mainly looks. But you know, now that I think about it, it really doesn't matter. People may judge you, but you know how they say people only do that because THEY have insecurities. What I do is I might not be the most attractive person on Earth, but I can try to be BETTER. Yknow.. taking care of myself, working out, dressing nice, smiling, studying, have a better personality, etc. Would like this kind of person, or someone stuck up just because they're attractive? You don't think you're attractive? Then make yourself better little by little to the point where you go "hey I might not have a good looking face, but im fit, healthy, educated, rich, and happy." Now THATS the kind of person I would want to be around. Who cares if they aren't a Calvin Cleins model? Love yourself. Be happy. Surround yourself with friends and people that don't judge you based on looks but who you are. Because they're out there. People treat you badly? Smile! No one can be mean to a smiling, sweet, happy person. Unless they're jealous. Have a little faith in yourself. :) And remember, there's always someone that feels like you. you're not the only one and you're not alone.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I wonder if this is what my boyfriend went through in high school :/ He use to be really fat, but now he is husky... He works out and goes to the gym and is hella strong. Clearly he has fat and sometimes I mess with him and his double chin, but I love him and his body. Even when he was over weight I found him attractive. And omg, being hugged by him is so comfortable. It's like being embraced by a pillow!!! I'm a total chubby chaser even though I myself am like 5'4 and 130lbs. My boyfriend out ways me by like 100 lbs and it is freaking awesome. I never really had much confidence, but just being with him makes me confident and I think being with me gives him confidence as well :) I know I am not the best looking girl, but I feel like a million dollar babe. I think it is good to accept that you aren't everyone's cup of tea, but the people who do like you makes it that much more special. I hope you start feeling special soon, it's a wonderful feeling.

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  • There is no sure fire way to do it. The best way is to surround yourself with people who support you but that's hard if you aren't very extroverted. Go out and find people who work with you. It took me a while to come out of my shell, but I eventually worked myself to going out to my school's gaming group and stuff.

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  • When I feel unattractive I wear something I love. :)

    Surprisingly that helps a lot. A favorite shirt? Nice jeans? Favorite color? Get a hair cut? -- thins like that.

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  • Well Kshppatel,
    For starters you are not unattractive NO ONE is! I figured this out myself when I was struggling with somewhat the same issues. (congrats for the no self harm accomplishment btw) I discovered that your attractiveness Is reflected through the way you carry yourself and your personality, like even though you may feel not so handsome (which you are) be confident in yourself and work with what you have. From personal experience guys with a sense of humor and a splash of romance are the guys to die for no matter what they look like. A serious confidence booster would be in the way you dress and smell a sense of fashion is a plus for girls because it creates the illusion that you are neat and creative and scents all around are great it makes a guy 10 times more attractive if he smells good. hope this helps :) and remember everyone is beautiful in their own way.

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  • Just have to accept it. There's nothing else to be done. I just carry on

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  • I usually do my makeup, do a new hairstyle, do my nails, wear a favorite outfit, listen to good music and work out if im really feeling low.

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  • working out... muscles make everyone sexier.

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What Guys Said 1

  • 1. You aren't gorgeous, but you aren't unattractive. It's all in your head.

    2. I have the shirt you're wearing in your avi.

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