Could you date someone who was never happy?

I'm seeing this girl and she is falling for me hard. I like her too but it seems that outside of things we do together her entire life makes her unhappy. She acts like I'm the only good thing in her life and honestly that's a lot of pressure. I love helping people and I like her but I feel like I'll never get any support from her because she gets all her support from me. I'm also afraid to leave her and make her life worse. What would you do?


0|1
8|2

Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't date someone like that. She may be depressed. She should see a doctor. She needs to be happy regardless of you and if she can't she has a problem. This will get harder and herder on you as she pulls you deeper into her world of sadness.

    Id be friends not date

    0|0
    0|0
    • Depressed, maybe, but she really does have a shit life... so its justified a little bit I guess

    • People are dealt shitty life's sometimes but not everyone gets depressed about it. Some people get stronger because difficulties make them stronger. She is weak and can potentially suck you in. Also, there is only so much you can do.

What Girls Said 7

  • I was with someone like this before. If I would have known he was unhappy beforehand I would not have been with him. A person like that is using you because they think you can make them happy but you really have no major impact on the other unhappy factors in her life. She will be needy and use this to emotionally torment you. You are already admitting to being afraid of leaving her but you have to also think about yourself and your well-being. My ex was very depressed and suicidal and I had to leave because he was literally sucking the life out of me. It was a give and take relationship and he also was crazy so I was afraid of leaving him and also staying because I was losing myself and my mind. A relationship is not supposed to feel like your sole responsibility is the other person's happiness. If a person is not happy they will not find it in a relationship and possibly make you unhappy. You can't help her she has to help herself and learn to not be dependent on others. I can never go down that road again because an unhappy person will bring you down and if you are happy they may secretly envy you because misery loves company. I would leave before things get worse. Sometimes you care about someone so much you need to let them go and love yourself more so that you won't be in any pain.

    0|1
    0|0
  • That's tough. You should be with someone who makes you happy and supports you. If you do that for her but she doesn't do it for you when you need it, or you feel like you can't because you don't want to upset her, then you two might need to have a serious conversation. Relationships can't be one-sided like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Been there, done that, never again.. ever.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I would not... oh boy. I hope you can extricate yourself from her life without doing too much damage :(

    0|0
    0|0
  • Have to live for yourself first. You can't help someone who doesn't care to help themselves. Being with someone that drains your energy with all their negativity calls for a doomed relationship. If anything she'll continue to drag you down until you are just like her. Misery loves company.

    0|0
    0|0
  • no because I care about my own happiness too much.

    0|0
    0|0
    • So am I selfish for wanting out?

  • I used to be like her, and please don't leave her. It will BREAK HER. Talking from experience here.
    I think you should introduce things into her life that will make her happy.

    0|0
    0|2
    • And then what?

    • I guess you might like her more when she's happier. And if you don't, then it will make it easier for her to let go I guess

What Guys Said 2

  • That's about the story of my life and my gf of 5 years now.. I feel you man, it's fucking hard to keep it up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • As long as she makes me happy, I don't see the problem. I am not dating her to improve her life. I am dating her to improve my life.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thats what I think frustratedly to myself all the time... but my question to you is: Isn't that selfish?

      I'm not trying to accuse you, I really want to know because I have issues with that question myself.

    • I don't think it is selfish at all. The reason you date someone is to improve your life. They reason they date you is to improve their life. In order for a couple to keep each other happy, some compromise must be found. Clearly you bring something to the relationship she values, or else she wouldn't be with you. So it doesn't seem like you are being selfish, as much as realistic. She may have some issues you may want to help her with, but it isn't your job to fix her.

Loading...