Why do I keep getting cancelled on?

I joined this online dating site a few weeks back and was initially overwhelmed by how easy it seemed. Having come from not going on a date in 2 years, I was amazed at suddenly getting loads of girls agreeing to meet and giving out their phone numbers. I thought I'd suddenly become a desirable person.

Only the illusion wasn't to last, of the 13 girls so far who gave me their numbers and agreed to meet me, only 1 actually met up with me.

Is this normal? Or am I doing something wrong?

What goes through a girls head when she is doing this, as in, why would you agree to meet up with someone you have no actual intention of meeting?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It is normal on a dating site, think about the fact that some people who use it are too afraid to meet people in public. Some girls use it as an ego boost.
    For the most part they probably cancelled because they were too self conscious/scared/shy to go out with someone from online.

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    • If they are 'too self conscious/scared/shy' to meet they should not say they will meet. Its lying.

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    • Yeah but you're being rude to people who are trying to give you advice. Now I can see why they're cancelling on you. Makes perfect sense now :) Peace.

    • Its because your advice is shit.

      And they don't give me advice, so that couldn't possible be the reason.

What Girls Said 4

  • Did you ever reschedule with any of them?

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    • I attempted.

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    • You really think that is a good comparison to make? There are obvious physical reasons I cannot see paramecium. There are no reasons that I wouldn't see women with no options. Unless you are claiming they are also microscopic?

      There is nothing subjective about it. I know several males my age who are virgins. I know 0 females my age who are virgins. I know 0 females who were virgins at 18. Even very unattractive women have lots of options. Look on this site, how many men do you see saying they can't get a date? Try and find a woman who like me has sent out hundreds of messages on a dating site and not found anyone willing to date her. Dating is very different for men and women.

    • There are reasons you can't see women with no options, they are cultural/conditioned handicaps that aliken us to being blind on a number of social issues. The same blinders that make us oblivious/careless to most suffrage from others. There are minority women who get passed up, disabled women who get passed up, est.

      If believing that men have it the worst, are always ignored, never get attention est makes you feel better, you are more than free to do so.

  • Girls like to not disappoint others and tend to make promises they can't keep. But keep trying, think its too early to give up. Besides, nothing that comes easily is of value. Good luck to u.

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    • That doesn't make sense. Leading me on makes me more disappointed.

      Trying how? I've ran out of women to message.

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    • So now I'm relying on 'destiny'. Great.

    • Believe me, u seem to be a good guy. Good things will happen. Think I'l go offline now... sleepy.. catch u later, bye

  • That's weird, I mean a few could be coincidence but so many.. Did you talk to them a while before or was meeting like the first or second message you send?
    Do you have any angry exes running around?

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    • I have only been on one date in 2 years, so no.

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    • No. That is highly unlikely.

    • I don't have any social media and they don't even know my full name.

  • Maybe some are in bad relationships, get mad at their bf and sign up and then change their minds and make up? LOL It's about them maybe, not you.

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    • And that's acceptable behaviour in women's minds?

      Its bullshit. To their boyfriend. And to me. Any girls who do that are filthy lying sluts.

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    • Men are lying sluts, too, but that doesn't mean I jump down guys throats when I first meet them and make these assumptions. The other way of looking at it is, if they were breaking up with someone and considering you but then perhaps something you did was off-putting, they might have figured it was time to stay with what they had instead. Dating sites are full of flakes, so don't take it all so personally really.

    • Woah! Now who's flaming the entire other gender!

      I never said women were lying sluts. Merely that women who act like lying sluts are lying sluts.

      The behaviour you suggested in your answer is not acceptable in any way, I'd have hoped most people in their late 30's/40's would realise that.

What Guys Said 3

  • I've never been on a dating site, but...

    I think it's just a case that people are afraid to be honest and break the bad news. Either they are trying to be polite, or they just can't bring themselves to do it.

    I used to buy and sell cars. It was the same thing. People would call about the car you're selling and ask a bunch of questions. They'll have zero interest in the car, but they'll say something like "I'll think about it". Or they'd make up a lie and say "it's for my wife and I'll talk to her about it".

    Sometimes they'll get your address, get directions, and set a time - with NO intention of showing up. It was just something I got used to and accepted. I knew that most will never show up when they set a time. But I have to wait around anyway, because eventually someone will show up and buy the car.

    With the majority of cases they don't give you a simple "I'm not interested". They are avoiding something that feels awkward to them.

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    • This sounds very plausible to me.

      Although any girl who does think this way is clearly not the brightest, since the longer they lead me on the more awkward it will be.

    • Well, what the others are saying is plausible also. There are probably multiple reasons.

      With the cars, it wasn't a minority. It was a majority of both men and women. Even among the people who got directions and set a time I'd guess it was 75-80% would never show up and never call to cancel the appointment.

    • I've never been in sales. But if you asked salesmen I think they'd say the same thing about every product. They have to follow through with all the leads, even though they know most will never go anywhere.

  • what if those are fake? number as well.

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    • Well all but one of the numbers replied, so I don't think that is the case.

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    • Its a free site. So that definitely isn't the case.

    • maybe that's why then. free sites, they take things for granted more.

  • Sounds like a free site.

    People I know had much better luck with paid sites here.

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    • Nobody where I live and around my age uses paid sites.

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