What Does Being a Challenge to a Guy Look Like?

I really want to be authentic and not play games, but manly men like a challenge. How does a gal who has been in a relationship for a while regain that cat and mouse thing?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • chase and let him chase you but never reject or put much negative body lenguage on

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What Guys Said 2

  • I have read many fine things about being a challenge, but I've never actually seen it work in practice.

    My suspicion is the sort of men 'being a challenge' works on are the worst sort of guys to seek out relationships with. It 'works' best on guys who are cocky, think they can get any woman, and when they have trouble getting one, view it as a fun game to try and 'get' her.

    The simple answer is why the hell would you want to date a man like that?

    Of course there's a simple answer. Most of the men who are 'like that' are good looking, charming, wanted by many women, and use the fact they are 'good' with women as a source of self esteem. So women don't want them BECAUSE they are like that, but they are like that because so many women want them. So then women want advice on how to get them, and the advice they get is to play games.

    Rather then ruining your life trying to trap guys who have no interest in a relationship, get a whole lot better at walking away from men who aren't looking for what you want. Even if they're cute and flirt with you.

    There are guys who want a relationship. Be attractive to them, be ready to be a good partner, and get used to saying 'NEXT' when a guy isn't looking for one too. Because the guys who ACTUALLY want relationships are looking for... women who are looking for relationships and don't want to play games.

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    • That's not what I'm talking about. My guy is a manly man, he loves adrenaline, the thrill. He's a military man as well. Those kind of guys just love the chase. They dont want a girl needy. Im not saying do things just to be silly, Im saying to not hang onto him... like do my own thing

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    • You know, there's -some truth- in the whole 'too available' thing, but imho, its oversold.

      But the truth is sort of a few things:

      one, if your entire life revolves around him, its not very interesting for him. It's like having a female clone who follows him around, when what originally attracted him was your YOUness. Don't lose your YOUness.

      Two: if you are texting/calling because you're insecure more than because you simply want to be with him, well, we all have issues we throw at people, but its offputting. Also... if he feels like your life is on pause waiting for him, he feels guilty about having his own life. You are making him responsible for your happiness entirely and he never asked for that.

      Three... there's also just a compatibility issue in terms of how much contact/time together/texting you like. What's too much for one guy is not enough for another. So subject to not doing it out of panic/need or losing yourself, you just need someone compatible.

    • Okay! Well we were the same, but now he just wants space.

  • Then dont play games. Stick to your principles and your beliefs. Dont settle for something less than what you want. It has nothing to do with challanges or games. If a girl is interesting to me, or peaks my interest its because of who she is, and what she is about, not because she is going to start up some stupid set of games. If a girl started playing games, or playing hard to get, I wouldn't think it was entertaining or fun. Im a straight forward kind of guy and prefer a woman who is the same way.
    If you want to wait til you get married, or wait a bit to get to know the guy before getting funky with him then thats your choice, dont let him pressure you into changing that.
    You want to be a challenge to a guy, make him step up to show he wants to be with you, not chase you all over.

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    • By challenge I mean not being emotionally needy or so available 24/7. I mean being flirty and teasing and not take everything seriously. I don't mean not answering the phone just to play hard-to-get. Ya know?

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    • You could have just said that. :P

    • Sorry, I was talking in female language :p

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