Unhappy!! I don't know why?

I've been dating this guy for awhile now and he does everything he can to make me happy. I know he's a good guy and any girl would kill to have him. He makes mistakes, but I just can't get the feeling of not being happy out of my head. My ex boyfriend beat the Shit out of me and treated me like crap. Now that I have a good guy I'm not happy. I feel like something is wrong with me. Maybe its because all of my ex's treated me like a punching bag. I try so hard every day to be happy. I make sure that my bf is happy. I cook clean ask him about his day ect. Is there something wrong with me? I feel like if I'm happy everything will go wrong. I can't let my guard down and I don't know why. I don't want to lose him.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you know why you're unhappy. You're choosing to be unhappy because being happy is too scary. As you stated yourself, if you let yourself be happy, you're scared everything will go wrong. But being unhappy sucks... you deserve better than that. You should allow yourself to be happy. Easier said than done, I imagine... but you should try. If you don't let your guard down, you will lose him and be even more miserable... so take small steps to allow yourself some happiness... maybe you can talk to your boyfriend about your feelings so he can help you get there.

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    • I'm also scared that he's going to hurt me like all the other guys did. I found naked pictures of him on a website. He wasn't talking to any girls on the site but it ruiened all the trust I had for him. He swears he wouldn't do it again or anything like it because he doesn't want to hurt me. That's why I also put he makes mistakes. It's just really hard to tell what's the truth and what's a lie. He seems like he's trying to be a good man but past experiences with other people make me think that looks are very deceiving. I can't shake all the bad thoughts no matter how hard I try. I want to be happy but its hard.

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    • You're welcome (: you helped a lot and I really appreciate it!!(: I'm doing very well things are so much better!(:

    • Awesome, really happy to hear that :)

What Guys Said 2

  • "My ex boyfriend beat the Shit out of me and treated me like crap."

    " I feel like something is wrong with me."

    " I feel like if I'm happy everything will go wrong."

    "I can't let my guard down and I don't know why."

    You're eventually going to have to deal with this. Question is, do you want go it alone, or do you want help?

    If you're not already, perhaps you should consider counseling. This sounds serious. I'm just not sure if this is the appropriate forum to seek help for this. It's just that if I were in your shoes, I would at the very least consider it. It is not healthy to think and feel this way. No need to go it alone. You know?

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    • I've tried counseling and it didn't help. The lady just made me feel like a big piece of crap. She acted like I didn't even need to be there and I was wasting her time. I can get over all the beatings and being treated like crap I'm a strong person. I've been through a lot. I just can't shake this feeling of not being happy.

  • The others have given some good advice. There's not too much I can add. I'd tell you to talk to him openly, honestly, and with love about what's been going on in your head, but even you're not sure. What I'd recommend then is to seek out a relationship counselor. I know that has a bit of stigma to it, but just think, if your body is sick, you go see a doctor, right? Same principle here.

    I wish you both well wherever your lives take you :)

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