My best friend is turning into everything she said she hated?

I have this best friend that i've known for years. She has this new boyfriend who I feel is changing her. Before she got with him, she would always say how she couldn't stand drinking, thinking it's disgusting, hated smoking, thinks drugs are dumb etc. She started dating this guy that did all of that, and she's completely changed her lifestyle because of him. Now she drinks all the time, gets high, does god knows what else. The dumb thing is.. is that she thinks she's cool and brags about it all the time. Why is she doing this? Just to impress her boyfriend? Her conversations with me use to be funny and always full of life, now they're only about her talking about her getting drunk, what all she drank, etc.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, I tend to stay away from people who say something and do something else. You should too. Conceit kills me, you shouldn't put up with this shit, even if you love her, that's because you're not her keeper, her parents did a bad job if she can't stay consistent.

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    • Yeah. It's so lame. I've known her for well over 6 years, but I guess the friendship is slipping away because she's just changing way too much and way too quick for me to handle.

    • Look, here's what might make you feel better, I have not ONE single friend from high school that I still talk to. Like I've even removed a guy I've known since I was 5, why? Because he wasn't a friend, ever. He was nice to me because when early on, I was the only one who gave a fuck about him as a friend. People change all the time, but your friend, well, her inconsistency is just a tell-tale sign that she is going to make a poor friend.

    • Thanks.

What Guys Said 1

  • There was this girl I know who was like that in college. She hated weed because her brother was a pothead, and she very rarely if ever drank. She started hanging around with a different group and next thing you know she was partying all the time and doing ecstasy. It's weird how some people go through these transformations right before your very eyes. If you value your friendship, hang in there. It is likely just a phase. The girl I am talking about is completely normal now, has a husband and two kids. So she figured herself out. Your friend might just have to find herself. You could tell her you're not interested in hearing about her drinking exploits.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Ya I had a best friend who at one point was a great girl. She was hilarious and over all just a great person to be around but then she got into the drugs and the alcohol and all that crap and so I just let us drift away because she wasn't the kind of person I wanted in my life. I don't regret it at all and it has been around 5 years since we were friends.

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  • people grow up and change. im sure its not all her boyfriend changing her. it's her own thoughts and actions. she's doing what she wants to do. and if she hangs out with her boyfriend and his friends, they probably smoke and drink together. its a social thing. depending on how old she is. most people when theyre younger, say they don't want to smoke or drink or "do bad things" but of course that opinion is subject to change. she might not be trying to brag or think its cool, but she maybe wants to share funny stories with you and this is her way of doing it, now that she's found something that she enjoys. also if she just started drinking/smoking it's probably a new experience for her, so she wants to talk about it all as she processes her thoughts on it. i hope you guys get better and you understand a little bit more.

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