When dating, how long does it take you to realize that it's either a waste of time or worth the effort?

I've been talking to this guy for about a month now. We text or talk on the phone every day (almost all day), but we've only gone out with each other once. He works a lot so I understand *sometimes* how he can be too tired or doesn't have time to schedule time with me. We've tried meeting up a few times and he either ends up falling asleep or it gets too late. My thoughts are that if he was into me, he'd make that extra effort to see me.

The question here is- how long it too long to be invested in seeking out something with a person who seems like they don't have enough time to date? It's only been a month and I don't want to seem pushy, but at the same time I don't want to invest my time or effort in something that's not even there.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think being together for a month and only seeing each other once is a bad omen for a relationship. first off I don't see how someone is so busy to only see someone once and if they are truly that busy that would indicate that they actually do not have time for a relationship.

    whether he's totally into you or not he isn't ready and doesn't have time to a lot to a real relationship. so that should be a deal break

    the #1 rule for dating, is be with someone who is ready, willing and able to date

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What Guys Said 5

  • honestly usually ill start to notice it right away, i judge her the moment i meet the girl and if she doesn't have what i want i dont waste my time, if anything i throw away a lot of girls my friends think im weird, but i think there weird they see a pretty face and act stupid, when in my mind im thinking what is she gonna do for me if i give her me

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  • Waste of time can be found out at any time, 5 min or after 5 years. Depending on when the deal breaker shows up.

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  • I would say a month is an adequate time to decide whether or not this person is putting in the effort and is worthy of your time and it doesn't seem he is worth your time. I say move on.

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  • A few hours to be honest

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  • Depends on the effort he puts in.

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What Girls Said 2

  • There's nothing, there's lot of guys that keep pretending that yea or keep setting on fire the relationship so that you keep feeling that there's something. your mostly having some virtual talks since it's on your phone, that's nothing, you shouldn't thank him for that !!! plus if you really mean at least something, trust he'll find some time for you

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    • Exactly what I've been thinking. Twice already we were supposed to meet up and he would text me... then I'd text him back a couple minutes later and he would just not respond after that. The next day he'd text saying he fell asleep... in the two minutes it took to reply!

    • No matter how sad you might feel, but this is unfair, I am pretty sure you deserve more. Just stop it, I had an almost same situation, everytime I stopped talking to him or at least convincing myself that he wasn't worth it (cause I used to like him), he'd come back and say such things as I miss you, and making you feel important for a moment. In french it's called "dragueur". If you want something, work for it it. Apparently he doesn't want you that much.

    • thanks for the advice. That's true also. He did that to me this past Friday night and I text him ending it, then the next morning he was sort of begging me to not let him go, which was odd because he never acts like that. So now with your opinion, it does bring a lot of clarity in the routine that's going on here.

  • I know what you mean I was talking to a guy for 2 months we planned meet ups he was busy then I was busy but he continued to have excuses and the excitement I felt for him faded as I realised he is single. for a reason noone likes a timewaster and if he really. liked. me he would make time. Busy is an excuse when used more then twice. Find someone who can not wait to see you. I would wait 3 weeks max with a guy after that I would give up only because time. is precious and noone has the right to waste it except you :) goodluck. When you meet someone you really like you will want to see them. often otherwise those guys are a lesson not a blessing! X

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