Why bother with love if all there is is pain?

Why even try if love is just pain and nothing more. All my life, my love life has been nothing more than pain, rejection, and manipulation. Love is literally the most evil emotion I can think of, because it is the best one you can torture someone with. I truly hate and despise love, I hate it with a passion. Seem I was already well down on this viewpoint, and was beginning to get very bitter and angry, then I met the most amazing girl, then, come the last day of school, back in June, we're hanging out at the park, and she tells me that she only likes me as a friend. That was what really put everything into perspective. Any love I have ever felt for anyone and anything has turned into extreme anger. I really wish that she killed me after that, like, shot me, or shoved me in front of a bus, I really do, I'd have preferred that to what I'm experiencing now. I have literally nothing good left inside of me, no hope, no dreams, I'm not going to delude myself about this, I should just be dead. I don't really care what my parents would think if I killed myself, they could just have another child, and my friends could find someone else. I don't want to meet another girl because I don't want another girl, besides, caring for people has only ever fed my hatred anyway. By now I have begun to hate myself and the rest of the world completely. Almost all I think about are new ways for me to die, or what the world would be like had I never been born. I wish I had never been born, and I'm sick of people saying suicide would be selfish, I never chose to live, why can't I choose to die, at least? I'm angry at. God, because I really don't see the point of my existence. I don't even try to be happy anymore, there's no point, and for the last two days, I've just been in one long breakdown. Right now I feel like going outside and just lying down on a road. Apparently, she won't ever love me, so I really don't have any reason to live anymore, I mean, I don't even want to live for myself.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Aww! 😢 Its ok :'0 ... everybody gets rejected at one point or another /.\ (I know how it feels.-.) but look just because one girl was to stupid to realize what she lost, doesn't mean that every girls gonna do the same thing. You can do better than her, just know again your not the only one who goes through this... And you can't say your never gonna love 💔again? Trust me it'll happen! 😉 (Ive tried -.-) I bet there's a girl out there that really likes you ;D and you should give her chance :') and maybe things will work out better 👍

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What Girls Said 1

  • Poor thing. :/
    *hugs*

    I'm sorry you feel the way you do. You, my friend, seem to be in a bit of a rut. You're young. One girl saying she just wants to be just be friends with you shouldn't be affecting you the way it is. You have your whole life in front of you. Rejection is apart of life. You just have to pick yourself up and keep on going. Loving yourself first before you think you love someone else is crucial. Keep your head up dude.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Checkitout: You are greater at your core than you can see because you a in mental and spiritual darkness. The fact that you don't won't to live without the love of a person says you are not complete in yourself. This makes you needy and clingy and weak and not masculine at all. You said she denied you on the last day of school. This means you were going to be her friend all that time and then switch it up on her? What did you expect? Life is not a movie.
    Its better. There are many girls who would love you if you stopped being so insecure and clingy. Who wants a desperate partner anyway? Are you dating all the desperate girls? Why should she date you? So you can leach her energy because you need her to live? Does that sound like fun for her?
    I've been there. I know you can get over it. You just gotta learn to be okay with yourself and learn how to express attraction appropriately with no weirdness or being clingy. Then you will meet other chicks and see she was just a person, not the reason your heart takes the next beat.
    She ain't special: desperation makes mediocre seem great.

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