Why do people if their unhappy in a relationship still stay in it?

My boyfriend at the time started to lose feelings for me about a month before we broke up but he stayed with me, not even bringing up that he doesn't know how he feels he just started to become distant, stopped saying I love you, sometimes even ignored me.. And I just don't get why someone wouldn't jugs be upfront about it..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • well I think there are few steps to breaking up that often happen and prolong a break up
    - you aren't sure that things are over. you kind of hope that stuff will get better even if logic suggests otherwise
    - and the general fear of being alone or making a mistake in breaking up with someone. most humans do a fear of being alone and so even if a relationship isn't working they will maybe stick with it because the companionship and physical and emotional intimacy are better than being alone

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What Guys Said 5

  • He might've been scared to face you while telling you the truth, or he tried to make sure he wouldn't hurt you by not telling you, but didn't realise that not telling you is what hurts more.

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  • I think its simply because they don't wanna hurt thier partners. They think about trying to make things up without even letting you know that something was not ok so that you can breath in peace.

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  • Probably don't feel like they can get anyone else

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  • Usually because they are stupid and can't provide for themselves, or pussy-whipped.

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  • They might enjoy the physical benefits.

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What Girls Said 2

  • There are several different reasons. One being they think things will get better. Another is that they don't want to hurt their significant other. Also some people are scared to break up so they pull back hoping the other person will dump them. Another is they are scared to be alone. Then there are ones that stay for the sake of any children involved. The last reason I can think of is that they don't want to lose financially, like if the boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse is rich they still want to have nice things and it's OK that they aren't fulfilled emotionally.

    So it's mostly out of fear, laziness, or greed.

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  • very good question. I can tell it from my perspective, I have been unhappy in my relationship for more than two years. Here are the reasons for staying:
    - You don't admit that it is over, you tell yourself it's a phase
    - you blame it on yourself being mean and think you should change sth yourself (in the end, if I am not happy it's my fault)
    - you are afraid you don't find anyone new
    - you are scared of the consequences and that you regret it after ( i remember being single sucked)
    - The other one actually is really, really nice to you (no actual reason to leave)
    - bad conscience, because the other always tells you how much they love you
    - there are good times, you still like that person as a "friend"
    - and this is practical egoism: we live together, and one of us would have to move out (most probable me) that would be expensive and a hazzle

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    • Well as I do understand those reasonings, in the beginning I didn't know if I wanted to be with him and I was unsure but we talked about it.. That's all I wanted was him just to tell me because then we could've maybe worked through it or I could've changed or something rather then have me play the guessing game.
      But what hurts is that a month after we broke up he started saying all this stuff, saying that dating me meant nothing and it was a mistake.
      And I don't get what I did.. I tried so hard for him to like me again and I don't know I feel stupid now :/

    • Well, I guess he is about your age? Seems like a pretty immature behaviour from him. I highly doubt that he actually means all the evil things he says to you. That's a way to protect himself from emotions towards you. very childish. And do not feel guilty for trying to him liking you again. That is absolutely normal and understandable behaviour. nobody wants to be left and feel unloved. (it just boosted his ego most probaly, that's why he is so mean.. he feels superior). You will feel bad now, because we always think we are worth nothing when someone doesn't love us back. But when you start to realize again, that your selfworth does not depend on someone else, you will realize that you do not need such an idiot on your side.

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