Does anyone else think online dating is a joke?

I'd like to aim this at people in their 40's or 50's. I've been on a few sites for over a year, and no luck. Guys do appear to be good matches, but no chemistry. Is there any chance to find that spark at my age, online? I've been told I am smart, pretty, funny and nice. No kids, never married. What gives? How else to meet people, other than in bars-which are not my scene.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your best bet is through social circles and expanding these social circles, and by that I don't mean social media! I strongly recommend you socialise with friends more, get out and open up your 'circles', interacting with as many people as possible in the real world, face to face. As more people come into your life more options and avenues will present itself. All 3 of my past relationships came about when I made new friends who then introduced me to their friends who I ended up dating.

    I've never had any luck with dating websites either and I've used them extensively. A lot of the women on these sites tend to be superficial and high maintenance which is why they're on these sites in the first place. They also seem to crave attention and love all the messages from guys because it boosts their confidence and already sky high self esteem. They don't bother replying and just let the messages flood in. Likewise a lot of guys on these sites are after sex, sending out hundreds of desperate messages a week and most lack any real personality or values. This is why dating site's aren't a good option, your intentions might be good but chances are other people you speak with just have a selfish desire to feed which is why they use these sites.

    The internet is great at getting people laid but it's not so great at finding/building a potential relationship. You need to do that in person I'm afraid. I suggest you get out and find someone in the real world. There will definitely be someone out there for you, good luck!

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    • Thanks for taking the time to write such a detailed and insightful answer! You have opened my eyes. Your description of the typical online guy fits most of my experiences, unfortunately. As for the online woman you write about, that is not me by a long shot!! Maybe that's my problem, I'm just to darn real! At any rate, this makes me feel so much better. I'm going to find some groups based on some of my personal interests and hobbies and see where that takes me. Thanks again.

What Guys Said 7

  • It works for some people, but I think that's just a case of dumb luck.
    A still photo and a few lines of profile is never the same as meeting someone in real life. You see much more of a person in real life, even in a few minutes. If you think women have it hard, I'd say men have it much harder.

    A man can have his act together better than 99% of other men, and he still wouldn't even get a reply in about 80% of cases. He couldn't even give away $100 bills on a dating site. For some men, this can be soul destroying and not good for confidence level. Apparently if he looks like a movie star or a male model in his photo this all changes (he can even write really shit stuff and very little in his profile).

    How do women expect to meet good men, if they won't even reply? I don't take it all very seriously. I know I have a better chance of meeting women when I go shopping, or I'm at a cafe.

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  • Unless it's a site that does background checks and charges for a descent amount for their services, I don't know how it couldn't be. At least for men.

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  • yup, pretty much. only self absorbed princesses on dating sites, who expect the guy to do all the work or chicks that are WAY out of your league trying to get into your pants.

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    • OK, I'm not a self-absorbed princess. I am definitely looking in the wrong place for a relationship. Yikes.

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    • Oh, I didn't think you were judging me at all! Sorry if I gave that impression. I was just saying that I am not like the majority of women you have encountered, I I'd better look someplace else. Your answer was helpful. Thanks.

    • you´re welcome :)

  • its made just for sex not real relationships lol how do you not know this lol
    your not gonna find chemistry online, but you'll find some dick if you want lol

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    • How depressing. Thanks for your insight. I think a few guys I've dated wanted a real relationship, but the chemistry wasn't there or we weren't entirely compatible. Almost. I did date a guy who came on strong at first, we had sex, and then he bolted. How common is that? Probably all too common, right? Ugh...

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    • What, dare I ask, is a "group"? Do men my I have "groups"? Ugh, I'm afraid to ask, but I can take it.

    • i like to be surround by women end of story that's what i want, so when i meet women and hook up with them, i tell them were just friends and that i will meet other women, and they'll tell me ohh im okay with it, but then they get attached and i have to let them go, cause they can't deal with the fact that they see me with other girls but whatever

  • I am in same situation, but I will carry on , because somewhere is a person who is your soul mate, and who can understand you, love you, unconditionally, and be there for you in good and bad times, so good luck :-)

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  • its a joke for men. Its god send for women

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  • Yes. Never used it and never will

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What Girls Said 1

  • I've had a hard time meeting people in person. People dont seem to be as friendly anymore guys never just come up and ask for your number. Unless your cute or something i guess. Plus im a little shy. So i think the online dating takes a little of that anxiety out of it. It gives you a chance to get to know someone a little bit before you actually meet the person. Also it gives you a lager variety if people to meet instead of only being able to date the local boys.

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    • Guys never ask for my number either! I thought I was the only one. Of course, I'd never give a guy my number either. Oh, well. Time to by my spinster outfit.

    • I wish you the best. Your picture is very nice.. I'm sure you will meet someone!

    • Oh... im saying i have met my boyfriend online you should try online dating it is fun. And you can meet nice people. Weve been seeing each other for six months. Just take your time and chat awile online before you give out your number and meet

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