How can I fix this situation at work with a guy I turned down?

I told him we can just be friends because we're co-workers, and he got extremely offended. He is now bad mouthing me at work and spreading rumors. I just have a thing with dating co-workers. I did once before, and it wasn't good. Should I just have said I don't date co-workers? He is saying I slept with him, and then dumped him. I'm not really sure what to do with the situation but he told me the way turned him down was the worst possible way a female can turn down a guy. He called me a slut and whore even though I've only had three relationships ever.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Him bad-mouthing you and spreading rumours must surely be a breach of your work place code of conduct. I would report what he's doing to a manager in letter form and see what happens.

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    • I have talked to them about it a few times. They said an investigation has to happen first because apparently he told them I asked him out first and I might just be making claims. That doesn't even make sense since if they talk to anyone at work, they'll know the truth.

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    • Yes, but they said anyone can complain about harassment if they don't like a co-worker. They said it's happened in the past where people lie, and so they have to look into it and talk to anyone who are involved. They said they can't just believe me and not believe him. Many of my co-workers said they would speak up about it.

    • You need to ask those co-workers to write what has been happening in letter form with their signatures and you need to submit those letters into your HR department as evidence of what has been happening.

What Guys Said 6

  • How did you turn him down? You left out an important part. Sounds like he is being a baby about it, but until I hear how you turned him down, it's impossible to tell!! It's fine to not want to date your coworkers! I actually avoid it too if at all possible. Although in my line of work it is really difficult to not occasionally hook up with some of the people that work for me.

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    • I told him we can be friends since we're co-workers.

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    • I can definitely think of more brutal ways. In High School a girl announced it in the halls as loud as she could to a boy who asked her out. That must have been harsh for a 15 year old. This man is 31. If I remember correctly, that kid handled it well too. He didn't spread rumors or anything, he just moved on. So it's messed up that a 15 year old would be more mature about it than a man in his 30s.

    • Yeah, like I said, this guy sounds like he's a baby. First of all, no woman has to go out with you. Second, if she does, great, if not, move on dude. You're a grown man, act like it. I can't believe he's trying to spread rumors about you at work all because you said you wanted to keep it professional. You know what you should do to rub a little salt in the wound, if you ever get the chance, you should say to him " you know I was kinda second guessing myself on the whole dating a coworker thing, and almost decided to go out with you until you decided to act like a baby about it." He will be shell shocked with that one, because obviously he really wanted you!!

  • Yes and then followed by the thing that you can still be friends but i think that you are wrong because you should not just stop dating co-workers because of one shot only.. Take your time to recover from that relationship and try again but if he asks you later and you still dont feel like dating co-workers then just tell him that you have been through a bad relationship with a co-worker recently and you need your time to think about it !

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  • You can't. He will never be friendly to you again unless you make it up to him

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  • what was the worst possible way? seems like he didn't experience life before.

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    • He said because I friend zoned him.

    • that was what he said? how long did he chase you? actually thats some kindergarden shit acting this way. rejection is rejection, then just say something worse till he shut up. I think he is going to cause antipathy against himself if he keeps spreading rumors

  • he is trying to guilt you into reconsidering, you could play his game and start telling everyone he was the worst lover you ever had

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  • You're co-workers?

    Go to HR and tell them what is going on. He is harassing you at work and making your workplace impossible for you. This is sackable offence.

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    • I have, they said they have to do an investigation into it because he told them I asked him out first. Our stories don't add up, and they can't just look at mine and not take his into consideration. It doesn't make sense because if they talk to any one of my co-workers, they'll know it's him harassing me.

    • Keep going at them. Tell them if they don't take action, you'll take the company to court for failing to act.

      Scare them into action.

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