Why do I love assholes?

I am in love with a guy who treats me like shit. He tells me he is not over his ex and belittles me. Why am I so stupid? Why do I keep going back? Why am I in love with this type of person.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You aren't alone. One of the great mysteries in life. Probably due to your need to please. The more you don't the harder you try.

    For him - no effort to maintain and you stick around.

    There are plenty of guys that would worship you but maybe that's not what you want. Too easy.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Fuck if I knew.

    Keep loading that gun and shooting yourself in the foot, you ain't hurting no one else but yourself.

    If you ask me, it's better if you're with the asshole. That way, there's one less stupid girl and one less asshole to go around fucking up good people's lives.

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  • Because

    - you have no other options
    - you have low self-esteem
    - you have limited self-worth
    - you think that this is how relationships are supposed to be
    - you are scared of being alone
    - he makes you feel a whole bunch of things, good and bad, and you're addicted to the emotional rush it gives you

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  • Because you are a combination of a submissive, and extremely insecure girl. You want someone who makes your decisions for you, and he probably is very controlling. You take his insults and remarks because you have low self worth and silently believe what he says. Because of your low sense of self worth you don't care about positice comments since you don't believe them anyway, and the negative ones are more impactful. you may not like them, but you believe they're honest.

    You're in a self destructive state, and many women never progress past this state. I don't have advice for you, because only you can help you get over your issues of self worth, I just know what is wrong wit you.

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    • I've never thought of myself as insecure. I am a bartender and normally the center of attention. Maybe is self-worth and I have trouble with most men that have entered my life.

  • GREAT Questions Meg... Because it's NOT about them... Your'e Right this IS about you. Starting to see some patterns here? GOOD GIRL!!! You are waking up.. NO More victim stuff where "They did this and they did that" Nope... not this time... you are realizing you have a part in this... And you are right... cause if you don't start looking at this stuff you are going to go back to sleep and are perfectly capable of finding another jerk. Sound familiar? Well (He gives her a big smile and a hug) Welcome... you made it!! I'm proud of you. You like most of use, had to beat your head against the wall over and over for years... blaming everything on them. Now that you are ready to start asking those kind of questions about yourself... And STAY awake on what you are going to learn about yourself... YOU are going to better... there are lots of places to find YOUR TRUTH. Self help books, Co-dependence groups, 12 steps, maybe some counseling. Look inward you are going to find answers. BUT the best thing of all.. You are going to find FREEDOM! No more "automatic pilot" for you cause you know where that leads. Keep searching! TAKE ACTION. And one of these days you are going to suddenly realize HOLY SHIT something is happening to me... I"M getting better. And that better you will attract a better him. But either way You'll find truth and FREEDOM. WELCOME SISTER your fellow seeker friend TIM :)

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  • cause you keep mistaking ego with self respect. ego is the thing that drives you back to the people who dont want you, because you think the people who do want you aren't good enough for you. but underneath it all you dont respect yourself enough to be with someone who does want you. you're not stupid otherwise you wouldn't be asking yourself that question.

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  • You're a woman.

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  • You're a typical female

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  • Because u can't help who u love and it fucking sucks sometimes

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  • Your a woman. dont bother reading those long winded answers from white knights.

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  • Because it's what you think you deserve... so you settle for it

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  • No one really falls in love with a bartender, they are just really good hook ups ;) especially after a breakup.

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    • Move on, he's not into you at all. Men say what they mean, so if he's not over his ex... then he's not over his ex. He belittles you because well you aren't a worthwhile woman in his eyes. You keep going back because he got you hooked. You want what you can't have. Little kiddy games... been there, done that!

  • He makes you feel like you aren't good enough for him. This triggers a response in you, to try and gain his approval. If he improved your self esteem instead of hurting it, you would think you were too good for him, and move on to some other asshole that acted like you weren't worth being treated well. You need to learn to stop judging your value, or the value of another person based on how good or bad they treat you.

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What Girls Said 3

  • When girls say assholes, it means that most of these guys are narcissists - they are takers not givers and they keep you around to feed their egos. Women with low self esteem will play right into their game, giving and giving and getting scraps in return. It's a pattern that you need to break, you will perpetuate a cycle of abuse. Trust me, narcissist can do real damage the longer you stick around.

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  • I feel the same way sometimes. assholes are attractive i guess. Relationships suck!

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  • I'm in the same boat even tell I just look to nice guys just go for the one who are rude to me :

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