My bf got defensive because I asked him what his female friends name were?

We always text back & forth, and I just suddenly felt like asking him who else he was talking to... and he said to some of his friends (girls and boys). And I was like cool, what are their names? And thats where he got all nervous and mad, told me it was private.

I told him if he isn't hiding anything than he shouldn't be like that. And that if he asked me who I was talking to... girl or boy i would tell him.

Whats his deal? I guess he thought i was asking for the gurls name becaus i dnt trust him... bt thats not at all what i was thinkin... i was just curious cause if ur dating someone u want to know who thieir friends are... am i wrong about this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I use to be that way too. I've grown to realize that when you ask... you are showing him that you do not trust him. Treat him as you would treat your friends and he will appreciate and love you more for it. Just because you two are dating doesn't mean there should be no privacy for either one of you.

    Since he was open to telling you that it was boys and girls then he's being open and honest. Badger him more and he will be afraid to tell you anything. That is when trouble starts.


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What Guys Said 1

  • happens but i normally just give it out on a need to know basis other than that it would be a dead end


What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think you were wrong for asking. He either is being shady and got defensive because he doesn't want you to know things. OR he just misunderstood your intentions and was offended (in his eyes) that you don't trust him. Try talking to him again about it and understand what his problem with it all is. What about friends are private?

    I really don't think it's such a big deal to know the names of your partner's friends. Personally I think it's more respectful to be completely open about everything, especially when it comes to friends of the opposite sex. That's just a polite thing to do in my opinion. Let them know everything so there's no reason to doubt that it's purely a friendship. How would he feel if you had male friends you talked to all of the time but wouldn't let him know any single detail?
    Well to each their own though, I know that not everyone is going to think this way, like I do.