Why do taken men seem to be attracted to me, but just play me?

I'm feeling very unattractive right now. I feel invisible to men. The last 5 years I have had men who have girlfriends flirt with me incessantly only to discover that really they were just playing with me for attention. I just feel sad, lonely and I think I'm getting bitter inside. I had no idea this would be so hard. Does anyone have any advice?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't feel that way. You are a beautiful woman, you just need to acknowledge that. Own yourself, feel good about who you are and never think that you need someone to complete you. Other people can bring so much goodness to our lives, but we will not be able to enjoy it if we're not happy with who we are. Those men you're talking about, they're douchebags, just forget them and laugh at them when they do that. You will find someone good enough for you, you'll see that. I know it's hard, but we gotta keep ourselves moving, go out, have fun and good luck! :)

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    • Thank u for your kind words

What Guys Said 5

  • hey sis dont feel bad. in my time on this site i once learned from another user here that taken people are more likely to flirt and hit on you because even if you tell them to fuck off they won't have a need to take it personal because they already got their girlfriends to fall on. now the ones who are not taken have really low self esteem and confidence, ao they are less likely to flirt with you because if you reject them they won't have no one to fall to so they will have an absolute defeat. so in order for them to avoid this defeat they just rather not try hitting on you.

    so that's why sometimes you got to work a little harder and when you see a guy you like you might kinda want to make the first move on him and give him signs that you like him and let him do the rest. and with the players that hit on you with too much confidence those you should reject

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  • Don't take those guys seriously. Honestly, if they're suppose to be with someone, the hell are they doing flirting with you like that? Women have a natural way of attracting men. If you see a guy you think you like, make eye contact & smile at him. If he's smart, he'll get the hint. Everyone has a dry spell; it happens. So pick yourself up, get out there, & try not to break any hearts.

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    • Thank u for your kind words

  • They are boys not men...

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    • Sorry I meant to upvote u :(

    • It's completely fine, I have had much worse done to me than a simple thumbs down. Keep in mind men that truly are mature don't like to play games. It's the exact opposite, they want straight shooters. I would say look at the environment in which you are meeting these guys. That usually will say a lot in respect to the people you meet. Not saying either of these are fact just highlighting the contrast of the two. If you meet men while visiting inmates in a jail the quality of the man will be significantly reduced as apposed to you meeting a man while volunteering to help the less fortunate with a non profit organization. Just a thought...

  • Stop hanging around guys in relationships. You bring it on yourself. What did you expect, for them to dump their gf's for you? HA!

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    • I don't hang around them. They pursue me. No I don't expect them to dump gf for me

    • Well they are no good, you shouldn't even acknowledge them..

    • Most I have worked with so I have to speak with them on a daily basis

  • Because taken men that want to cheat were able to make a bad decision to commit to a not so great woman in the first place. If you can get locked in to a relationship with a not so great woman, you'll cheat with another not so great woman to try and pick up the extra that is missing. Guys that are still single haven't been locked into a relationship with an unfulfilling woman because they are more selective. You're not on their radar.

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    • I think you are generalizing, not everyone fits your sterotypes

    • Show All
    • Wow this is really mean. OP I think you've just had bad luck with bad men. You'll find him :)

    • Thanks anon56789. Yes poster must think he's a big man by posting the above comment. Lame

What Girls Said 1

  • it happened to me too, they flirted with me even though they are in relationships. i kept a distance from them, must flee from such guys

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