Is he trying to get too physical with me? What should I do?

I'm not sure if this guy is trying to get physical with me or if he is just being a normal guy.

I'm not used to guys touching me so at first when he would hold my hand or put his arms around me I would freak out. It would make me pretty nervous.

Now I'm used to all that stuff and I like it. But I feel like he does a lot more.

He's cupped my breast before under my clothes and he likes for me to put my hand on his crotch when we kiss. Sometimes he puts his hand between my legs when he kisses me.

He also likes to cuddle with me in my bed and he has kissed me while on top of me. We were fully clothed and nothing else happened besides kissing.

Is he just being a guy? I've been seeing him for about a month. I get paranoid he wants sex from me, when he knows I'm not ready because I told him.

He gives me time for sure and treats me well. I get a vibe he cares about me in how he will seem concerned if I'm upset and tries to make me feel better.

He will also Make long drives to see me and seems quite happy when he is with me.

He has also offered to connect me with people to help me out with my career, as well as help me out with my grocery shopping. Just little things like that.

He's talked about a relationship with me and has told me I'm someone he's interested in dating.

He likes to call me and tells me anything I ask him about his exes. Sometimes he will volunteer ugly info about his relationships. He says he wants me to know what kind of guy he is and doesn't want to hide things from me.

He also has said that I would probably be disappointed if I knew all of the things he has done before.

He constantly tells me im special and that I mean a lot to him.

Am I being dumb for thinking he cares? Minus the physical stuff I feel he does.

But when he does physical stuff I get confused because I'm worried it's too fast :/ it kind of worries me and makes me doubt everything he says.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're moving quite slowly if you were dating, but then you suggest you're not dating.

    If you were dating, I'd say that he was moving very slowly - for you - , and that if all he wanted was physical stuff, frankly, he wouldn't be spending time on you. He shows interest in you in multiple ways.

    For inexperienced people, there's a big journey from holding hands to sex, and it doesn't usually happen all at once, it happens in lots of small steps forward. So you shouldn't think he's about to have sex with you every time he holds your hand, on the other hand, you're not that far off from handjobs/fingering.

    I think you need to figure out how far you're willing to go putting aside 'how fast' it is. Are you looking to be a FWB, or in a relationship, or what? Communicate that, then move forward and yes, expect it to be normal for a guy to be interested in physical stuff and moving things gently forward.

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    • We go on dates but we aren't in a relationship yet. Is it still that slow?

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    • I do feel like we act like a couple, just without the label. I was just worried about getting too physical because we haven't officially committed to each other or anything. I'm really inexperienced and I would like to avoid making any stupid mistakes If I can

    • We all make stupid mistakes.

      Just try to avoid life changing ones :)

What Guys Said 1

  • He's purposely breaking down the touch barrier so he can get you comfortable enough to take the next step. In other words, he wants your pussy. It's not that complicated.

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    • I can tell he really wants sex, but I don't want to yet and he knows that. How can I get him to slow down?

      He knows I'm not comfortable with lots of touching. I just get confused when he does stuff like that. It's too overwhelming for me.

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    • He said he only had sex with girls he was in relationships with. I'm planning on saving it for marriage so we do differ, yes.

    • Do you have any advice for me? I'm not sure how to handle this. I don't know anything about dating and I'm confused.

      He seems like he cares about me by his actions but the physical stuff makes me question everything.

What Girls Said 2

  • Guys do that. You need to tell him that you need to take it slower because you aren't comfortable with those kind of things yet. Tell him that you will let him know when you are ready. It sounds like he does care about you. Guys do want sex but that isn't all they want. If he only wanted sex from you he would be long gone. He cares about you and it sounds like he is willing to wait for sex although he does want to fool around a bit. For that you should defiantly talk to him and let him know where you stand on those things

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    • He knows where I stand and that I want to go slowly. He said he's going slower than he normally would.

      I don't know how can I get him to slow down more?

    • And I do think he's willing to wait for sex but I'm confused because we aren't officially in a relationship and he's acting so touchy.

      I'm just new to all this and a little confused

    • How long has this been going on then? If you aren't in an official relationship ask him if he what you guys are even doing. You need to tell him specifically "do not touch me here" and if he does then you need to push his hand away. Stand up for yourself. How old are you?

  • you are not ready for sex so he's just replacing that with a little touch... he wants it and as he knows that you r not ready, he just replaces it with a little touch here and there... understand him n don't be self - centred...
    :-)

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