Am I Wrong For Not Liking My Skin Color?

Oh my gosh... I sound like Uncle Ruckus from the Boondocks XD. But... I am being quite honest though. Don't get me wrong, I am not racist or against my own race or anything like that. Just like every other race, we have bad people and good people... even though the media puts a magnifying glass on us and makes us look really bad -_-

Anyway, in terms of dating, I don't like being black. I feel so limited in terms of who I can date and how desirable women find me. It seems like in the dating world, black guys are poison.

I'm not a bad guy at all. I have a college degree, a great job, my own place and my own car. I am very polite and proper, and I do not act ghetto in any way. I've also been told plenty of times that I am a good looking guy, and I love to keep my body in shape.

I've dated black women most of my life, so I want to try something new. Whenever I try to meet women of different backgrounds, they are predominantly into white men and won't even consider dating a black person.

When I go onto dating site (I've tried OkCupid, POF, Match & Tinder), it is mostly black women that like me or really trash white women who want a black guy for all the wrong reasons. Or they immediately say "not into black guys" or "only looking for white guys". Let's face it, too... even more black women are looking for white guys as well.

I just seem to notice that everyone seems to like white guys a lot more when it comes to dating. Doesn't matter if you are a well off black guy with a great future ahead of you... most women of different races just aren't into black guys. I just feel like if I were white, I would have access to a lot of more women of different races and would more well received.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My dad once said that when black guys want to date outside there race they save their heads bald and something about a mustache. I can't remember if they shave that too or if they grow one.

    I've kind of realized the same thing, but at the same time what am I really missing out on- guys that don't like black girls or they are just trying to screw around, and sleep with as many people as possible. After realizing that, I've found that I can date anyone I want, and there are many guys want to ask me out, but are too shy. It does suck when someone says they don't like black people, but more often than not I would have never looked at them anyway. You aren't wrong for not liking your skin color, but you aren't right either.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Umm that's a little messed up, you don't like your skin color just because you can't date outside your race? You sure it's not something else? Because I would never dislike being black just because I can't get a white boyfriend. That just seems a little dramatic O_o

    But anyways, I'm pretty sure you will find a girl outside your race that likes you one day. Just the other day, there was a question on here from a white guy asking why don't girls really like white guys anymore. So it's just all in perspective. You just have to try harder if that's what you really want.

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  • Stop sounding so glum and desperate. You dislike what you are because you haven't gotten the acceptance from others that you desire? It's not the color of your skin that makes you you, nor does it define you. Stop looking an ye shall find. Maybe once you begin to accept yourself others will too. You won't make it far with that kind of attitude.

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    • A good point that you said:

      "It's not the color of your skin that makes you you, nor does it define you." True, I believe this statement, but there are many people out there that think that skin color defines you. Look around you. People are silent about this in real life, but look online and you will see what I'm talking about.

      My attitude is fine. I know who I am and what I am capable of, which is why I am where I am at today. I am not speaking out of ignorance. It's the truth. For many people skin color is the defining factor.

    • Would you really want someone to date you or even consider it only because you're black though? You need to find the person who is colorblind who prefers to see the good in you and in your heart. Rather than someone who is shallow and worthy. Not everyone likes black people, Asian people or white people. That's the life we live in and we just have to learn to make the mostout of it. You've accomplished a lot in life and you are probably young yet that means nothing if you allow society to dictate who you are and where think you should be in life.

  • LOL don't blame your race for dating issues.

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  • I think if you have a good personality - and a good pay cheque - nobody really cares what race you are. If it bothers you - try changing your mannerisms and carrying yourself like somebody who seems conservative and like to be monogamous. The reason girls don't like black guys is because they believe black guys are more likely to cheat on them.

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    • Like your opinion. But, the last statement is why I feel many women have a hard time accepting black guys. I just feel the media puts so much pressure on us, it makes us look bad in the eyes of women. Black guys have so many stereotypes working against us.

    • I think if you want girls to think you are not stereotypical - wear a tie and business attire and use formal language etc...

What Guys Said 3

  • You actually seem like a nice black guy, and I can assure you I have not seen many nice black guys. And no, I am not racist, it's just what I have experienced. I truly do think that there are still lots of women out there who don't mind to date a black guy like you.

    I laughed at: "or really trash white women who want a black guy for all the wrong reasons" because it's true. And kind of funny.

    Anyway, I think you should just keep searching, there should still be a lot of women out there, ready to date a black guy like you, even women from all different kinds of races. But there is nothing you can do about womens' preferences and your skin colour. I think you will have to live with the fact that it will be a bit more difficult to find someone for you.

    I truly do wish you lots of luck trying to find your love, there is still a lot of time ahead.

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  • Most black women under the age of 25 date interracially exclusively, as they have no interest in datin a black guy over a white guy. You need to switch your focus to dating outside of your race. I remember seeing a question on here of some black guy asking about wanting to date black women, and all the black women who answered him were beyond rude, and told them that he'd have like no chance with them. Some of them could hardly answer the guy, because they immediately went into rants about how black guys are this, and that and the other.

    So you're definitely wasting your time trying to pursue women from the only ethnic group on the planet (25 and under) who do not have a majority preference for people within their own race. Every other ethnic group tends to gravitate more towards their own within our generation (which makes sense), except black females. Go for whites and latinas. They are your best bet at happiness

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    • I am going to have to agree with you on how black women date interracially these days. I'm not against it, that is their preference. I've dated black women most of my life, so I am testing the waters to see what else is out there. I have also heard that latina women find black men undesirable as well. Well, the ones I talked to only want to date white guys.

  • media makes you look good, dont play the victitum

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    • How does the media make me look good?

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