Women (and men) will NEVER give a straight answer as to what they find attractive?

AdamThomas recently said: Don't ask women what they find attractive, you'll never get a straight answer (same goes for men too tbh)

I disagree with this statement. I've watched my own reactions, and I've figured out what I find attractive, and I can articulate it. I don't usually share that information with women I'm at least considering, because doing so would allow me to be manipulated - but I do know what things are attractive and I can give a straight answer, if I want to.

I think most people do too, and will tell people that they're not interested in dating what those things are, or are willing to post them anonymously.

  • True statement
    29% (2)20% (3)23% (5)Vote
  • False statement; here's what I find attractive
    71% (5)80% (12)77% (17)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't choose who you'll fall in love with. It's as simple as that. Yeah you can have a set of things you find attractive and have preferences but real life has proven to me that it doesn't work out that way and magically you just encounter someone who blows you away and you just feel butterflies. This person might not even have been near what you originally said you found attractive or might not meet all your preferences but yet it doesn't matter and you still adore them for some reason. This has so far happened to me with every single real life crush. Sure they share attributes that I like but ultimately none of them came in the package or looks that I originally would have said I liked. It's incredibly difficult to say this is my list of what I like and this will always hold true... bizarrely enough it sometimes just doesn't which is why yes, you can't get a straight answer because you'll never know who you'll fall for. The heart wants what the heart wants and love is weird like that.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Question: By "never give a straight answer", does that mean a single worded answer?

    Example 1: "I find confidence attractive."

    Example 2: "I find confidence, height, blah, blah, blag attractive."

    I hope that came across with some type of sense.

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    • Straight answer can be single words, or a trait list organized by weighted values, or anything else that's true, and not gaming the recipient (ie: doesn't vary depending on who you tell it to; ie if you tell the tall guy that height is most important, the rich guy that success is, etc - even if both are important to you)

    • Then by that, the statement is false in my opinion. Thank you for further elaborating!

  • Nice smile, nice lips, kindhearted, smart , smells good, taller than 5'2, thinks I'm funny, calmly and naturally authoritative way about him, simple kind of man, likes cats, not lazy, respects women, remembers my birthday doesn't even have to get me anything just says happy birthday, license and his own car don't care what kind, few friends, can talk about a number of different topics not just work or working out or cars, stuff that I'm interested in as well, treats me like a delicate flower lol the list could go on and on. I'm attracted to so many qualities, some I probably don't even know about yet until I meet someone who is like that.

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  • Aaron Taylor-Johnson, everything he has I want. My knees literally feel weak when I think about him, he definitely has my ideal look.

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  • i've posted them on here a thousand times. my exact type in terms of appearance and personality. i talk about this irl all the time.

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  • I've recently had crushes on plenty of guys and I wondered what made them all similar. Surprisingly you can really see the similarities between these males. I can say and truly admit that I find 'dark haired and fair skin, nice jawline, great sense of humour and able to speak other languages' guys attractive.

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    • OT: But, sounds like you need to start looking at trying to attend college somewhere in Europe :D

    • Haha there are a few Brazilian and Colombian boys too that fit the bill but okay XD

    • Well, just saying that in Europe, they pretty much expect everyone to learn at least two languages, so your pool of guys who speak English and another language, is pretty damn huge.

      In Brazil and Colombia, a lot fewer guys are educated (lower standard of living). Actually hunting in college there might not be too bad, but you can't go cruise the non-college cafes and expect that most guys you meet had English in HS. Whereas in Europe, you can.

      College is just the excuse to spend 4 years in Europe.

      Of course, if you do do that, expect to not want to come back to the US.

  • I think it all opinionated and can change so maybe they dont know what they find attractive or too shy to say

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  • You won't always get a straight answer because its not that black and white. A persons attractiveness comes from a collection of things

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    • Are you saying, "I'm attracted to different things in different people"?

      That can be true (and you can like someone who even breaks your general rules), but is not what I'm talking about.

      Are there no things that you find to be attractive in general? For example, most researchers agree that women like men who're: successful (often this means: rich, can mean famous) in the social hierarchy, tall (er than them), bilaterally symmetrical, and have larger shoulders than hips.
      Those are some example traits that many women would find attractive.

      If you've got a kink for ditchdiggers, short dudes, etc - even an opposite trait is a trait that's generally attractive to you.

      So, not saying that you can't find someone attractive who doesn't meet your trait list.
      And not saying that everyone who does meet your trait list is attractive.

      But, that generally, there are some traits that you find attractive (and you know what they are, and you have communicated them to *somebody*)

    • If that's not what you're talking about than I guess you haven't been paying attention to what girls say.. Many girls give lists of what they find attractive

What Guys Said 8

  • Yeah, I do have somewhat of a type, and I'm very comfortable and confident in knowing what I like and look for.

    For me, my "type" is much more of a mental thing than anything else: a truly good person who does good frequently, intelligent, passionate about music and other arts, someone who's jovial and likes to play around, someone who will engage in thoughtful conversation in one moment, and then laugh with me about silly things in the next. I mostly tend to become attracted to women that have a thirst for learning; that's incredibly sexy to me.

    As for my physical type, I just want her to be shorter than and to not have super short hair. The rest just depends on the individual woman.

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  • Most people either don't realize what they truly find attractive, or think they can't be honest about it for one reason or another. Just think about all of the people who complain that they're "jerk magnets." They don't recognize what repeatedly attracts them to the same type of person.

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  • I know what i find attractive in a woman... the fact that she is breathing.

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  • What women find physically attractive (both looks and clothes) is one of the only useful things to ask a woman regarding how to be romantically successfully.

    What is absolutely useless asking a woman is how to approach her, what she finds charming, etc. It's like asking a man about make-up. They just don't know. They like the end result but they don't know the process

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    • As for men, 'never' may be an exaggeration, but still... Men do know what they find physically attractive. The problem is it's often not politically correct for a man to say it. He may be afraid of hurting women's feelings. So he might not say what he's thinking

  • Attraction isn't a choice, you can't help what you like, its involuntary.

    Yet some people try to make others feel bad for not being attracted to their race or ethnicity.

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  • It is a false statement, but becoming more true. There are lots of things I find attractive. Most deal with looks obviously, but we aren't suppose to admit that. I won't bother making a list of all the different body parts I like. Women are even worse about admitting to that. Most guys will admit to it, but then women call us shallow, or accuse us of objectifying women, or only seeing them as sex objects. Even as they complain about us, they still only go for the really hot guys themselves. So women are definitely more likely to lie about it. This is why you can't listen to women, about what women want.

    Men are starting to lie more since we keep getting bashed for "objectifying women" anytime we are honest about what we like. So now we have to pretend we don't care about looks and instead care about things like having a strong and confident woman. A 500 pound woman with bad skin, is not attractive no matter how strong and confident she is, and we all know it.

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  • Women can't decide what they want for freakin breakfast.
    I want a pretty face, good hygiene, nice teeth, humor and morals. I prefer a brunette but like i said a pretty face is good with me and i do not care what color she is.

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  • Some people are embarrassed by their "type".

    You make a good point, about being manipulated.

    You can get a straight answer, but you would do it subtly, by casually probing at the things they mention that you like.

    If you are decent at reading people in conversation, you will get a more or less straight answer.

    Other times, people don't know, but they figure it out, because they like it when said person displays those values, traits and interests.

    There are people who get direct straight answers, but that requires a great deal of confidence, maturity, and no interest in games.

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