My gf started talking to this one guy a lot randomly... should I be worried?

So my gf met some guy through one of her friends. They don't really know each other in real life but they know who each other are. Randomly this guy started talking to her and now they talk a lot to each other. I already once told her about how I'm a little bit worried about it but she said I was just being insecure about it. I agreed and let it go but she still talks to him a lot and I can't help what I feel. She gives him way more attention when she's talking to him than she does to me (she responds as soon as he says something whereas for me she waits for a few minutes) and she doesn't really talk to guys that often so I'm kind of worried. And recently while she was talking to him she lied and said she was talking to one of her female friends. I know that it isn't because I haven't been talking to her enough, as a while back she said she wanted to spend more time with me (at the time I was studying) and I heeded her call. Why is she acting like this and should I be worried? what do you girls think about all this


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yep. She's looking to better deal you.

    I'm guessing you've been together for a little while, and the "magic" has started to diminish.

    A lot of people out there, man. They're looking for that "spark" that they feel when they're in a new relationship. The excitement that comes from the mystery and always inevitably fades. They think they're supposed to feel that way forever. That this is love, when it's just a temporary chemical reaction.

    The fact that she lied about it clinches it.

    I've been in this exact situation, except I didn't see it coming. For about two weeks, she was always on her phone. I could tell she was being a little weird with it, like if I'd ask her who she was talking to she'd say "Just a friend" instead of a name, then one day I left a really sweet note for her on her car at work, and I guilt took over and she called me and said we had to talk. She broke up with me that night, and was dating him almost immediately, though she stoutly refused to admit that she'd been talking to him beforehand and insisted there was no one else. It was a lie. Just like other things were lies.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Woah woah woah. Dude, fight for your woman!!! You're losing her to this guy! Shower her with attention, make her feel like a princess, and for God's sake make her feel loved! Thats all any woman wants! And right now, this guy is giving her more attention than you are, and thats whats drawing her farther away from you. Because he has something that you don't: time for her.

    Look, if you really do care for this girl, you'll drop everything and you'll go kiss her right now. No matter where she is or what she's doing. Show her you care. Change your schedule according to her, MAKE time for her. OR YOU WILL LOSE HER. That is all a woman wants. IS TO FEEL LOVED AND WANTED AND APPRECIATED. Surprise her with dinner at a fancy place or attempt to cook dinner or surprise her at work with flowers or whatever she likes!

    GO GET YOUR WOMAN BACK IN YOUR ARMS BROTHA!

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  • let her go. do not let anyone treat you like an option. (now i'm gonna try to be objective because this is the same thing that split me and my girlfriend up, except she was talking to her ex) but she's connecting more with this guy than you are. one thing about women: more often than not, men who cheat cheat physically, women who cheat cheat emotionally. if someone can tug a girl's heartstrings, make her feel like they're listening, giving them time and attention, etc, then they're gonna focus more on them than you, and i feel thats what she's doing to you. do you know what they talk about? if she's willing to be completely open about it the chances of losing her completely aren't that bad. if the answer is something like 'just stuff. don't worry about it.' they're probably connecting. worse that can happen, she's probably flirting and sexting but that's a way out there kind of thing. get rid of her. i'm gonna believe what you said about it not being that you don't pay attention to her, because some women are just fickle that way. you can treat them as nice as possible and they still go behind your back and lie for their own benefit (being objective still by the way, i think). but don't let her string you along for it. there's only so much you can do. and if she wants to be that way, she can be single. you'll find someone else; and trust me, you'll be okay about it eventually. you don't need somebody treating you like they feel obligated to talk to you. don't be an option.

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  • Be worried this dude is tryin to get ur girl don't leave that situation alone look tell her how u feel tell her how it makes u uncomfortable o see tht she is talkin to this guy then spending time with the one she is with if it really makes u uncomfortable then tell her ASAP and make sure she understands unless she will keep talkin to him and end up cheating on u and i bet u don't want to loose her so trust me ps I said this to many of my friends who wer in relationships some listened and others didn't all of them are singl but the one who listened realized that the person they wer wit was doin the same thing and felt that they don't belong together the others wer cheated on and came to me wit advise ps I'm only 14 and ik how it feels to be cheated on by that one person u care about so trust me just be curiouser and if she sit stopping leave her k

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    • Even if he takes action, it won't save this relationship. I mean what's the use of forcing her to stop contacting someone else? She knows whatever she's doing. she is not a little kid. Her hormones are active and she is slowly changing her mind like many women.

    • Not force her have her understand how feels because how would u like it if u wer goin wit someone and they wer talkin to someone else on the phone more than spend anytime wit u? Insaan

    • Read my opinion my dear mysterious anon. :)

What Guys Said 4

  • Yes you should be worried, this isn't going anywhere good.

    Its not fair of her to disregard your feelings on the matter. You're not being insecure, you're being you. If you don't like this, you need to calmly and firmly let her know how you feel and how her actions are affecting you.

    If she continues to blow you off, then this might be a sign that you should end it. Relationships are a two-way street and cheating is up to the definition of the offended party. If you feel like she is crossing a line, then she is because its up to you to draw it.

    Same, obviously, goes for her, you should respect her boundaries and such, but it sounds like you are in fact doing this.

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  • Yes you should be worried. I mean its fine interacting with opposite sexes as friend even when you are in relationship but this is too much. I would say, dump her before she dumps you. Do not argue... just dump. Start ignoring her... do not text and fo not call. Act like you don't give a shit.
    You know , you don't owe a person and hence you cannot force her or control her. But you can make your own decision isn't it?
    I have seen such girls like this and really it's time for you once again to fall in love with someone else.
    I know you don't want to hear this but please save your self respect.

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    • when she realize that her bf is gone and this new dude is playing games with her she will really regret what she has done. she can only realize that value of her current bf if he is not longer at her side.

    • Exactly justinX

  • do they ever do anything together?

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  • Sounds like she's shopping for your replacement. Especially the lying.

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