Do guys get upset when you turn down sex with them?

[Anonymous]

Do guys get mad when a woman doesn't want to have sex with them? If a woman really likes a man and sees a future with him turns down the opportunity to have sex with him on the second date will this make the guy upset? She really wanted to have sex with him but only turned down sex because she really likes him and she didn't want him to see her as a fast girl or easy. She didn't want to have sex so soon, she wants to wait at least a month. Will this cause him to not pursue her anymore?

[ViciousVic22]

The key is communication, communication, communication, if you want to be old fashioned and wait for a while before you have sex then tell him and have an open discussion about it and tell him that it's too soon for you. Just be up front and tell him that you wanna take things slow and that it will happen in the long run if he's not willing to respect that then he's not even worth your time and he just wants to fuck, if he does then good. Honestly you don't have to worry about being easy or slutty it's just that when guys can hook up with a given girl easily especially when you guys are only getting to know each other there's a chance he might just loose interest in you and leave. Keep in mind that when you turn down sex with a guy his ego is gonna be bruised and his feelings are gonna be hurt so you have to comfort him and if he's still pissed about it then it's obvious that he just wants sex. I hope that was helpful

[Asker]

I didn't mean to hurt his ego or hurt his feelings, and I did want to have sex with him. I think he's attractive and all of that. I just didn't want to do it so soon. I tried to be comforting. I laid down with him and hugged him and put my head on his chest. I don't know if that was comforting enough or not lol but I tried to be nice and sweet.

[ViciousVic22]

So is he still butt hurt about it then? Or is it water under the bridge now?

[Asker]

I honestly don't know =/ . He seemed fine after it. He texted me the next day. He seemed to be in a good mood. But the past 2 weeks I notice that I don't hear from him as much. He still keeps in contact and sees how I'm doing I just notice that sometimes he may go a few days with out texting. I wasn't trying to think much of it and I was trying to be understanding that he has a demanding job and is about to start school again soon, plus we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend yet. But I don't know. I hope he isn't upset about it.

[ViciousVic22]

Eh I kinda get the impression that maybe he's a bit thirsty, you would be surprised how much guys think with their "little head" when they are sexually frustrated and " on the prowl" when it comes to guys and sex it's a lot like the marshmallow test experiment they did on kids where they had these kids and they told them that they could either have the marshmallow in front of them OR if they waited they could get two and many of them gave into the impulse to eat just the one, I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and just try to form more emotional intimacy with him and hopefully he'll feel safe enough and want you enough to stick around and have a monogamous relationship with you, but if it's that much heart ache find a guy who's willing to take things slow and wait for the two marshmallows so to speak :p

[Asker]

Yea I guess I will see how it goes. I told him that I like him and he told me that he likes me as well. But I decided to pull back a little bit for right now because I don't want to be the one calling and text all the time and push him away. I'll let him be the man and court me. If he doesn't then I know what he wanted.

[ViciousVic22]

Yeah see how it goes, if it turns out that all he wanted was to have sex then remember next time to be more straight forward and upfront to make everyone's intentions crystal clear by open communication, the more that's up in the air the more confusing and uncertain things will be

[Asker]

I was upfront with him. When he tried I told him that it was too soon. But I don't know I'll see how it goes and stay positive =) But I wish I knew what his intentions are.

[Orion1084]

I certainly wouldn't get upset about it. I'm also not usually one to bring up sex on a second date, as per your example. However, if it did come up, and she stated that she would like to wait a little while, then I would respect her decision.

I'd also agree with her. Personally, I believe that having sex too early into a relationship, if a relationship is what you're after, can actually do more harm than good. If you're truly intent on building a rapport with someone with the hopes of developing a future, then sex can wait until both parties are ready and comfortable with the idea.

[kheserthorpe]

If we are talking about sex when you haven't started a sexual relationship yet...

There is a point where most men would move on.

That's not date 2 for many men.

If he thinks you hook up right away with some other men though he may resent you treating him worse than others.

[Asker]

What do you mean by "If we are talking about sex when you haven't started a sexual relationship yet... There is a point where most men would move on." ? And I would hope he doesn't think I hook up with other men right away =/ I never have.

[kheserthorpe]

In your situation - no normal man would be upset if he has any interest in dating you.

[Asker]

I see. Well hopefully he isn't =/

[bDizzie]

I hate the term easy. It's bullshit. But if he gets upset that you won't have sex with him on the second date then you dodged a bullet there because he only wanted sex.

[Asker]

So guys won't think you're easy if you sleep with them fast? And that's true, that would be a big bullet dodged.

[bDizzie]

Maybe, maybe not but I don't judge because I would have been just as "easy"

[Asker]

I see. That's a good way to look at it. But some guys have double standards =/

[Anonymous]

guys who do get upset about three days or even three months are shallow and dont deserve girlfriends