Why I don't seem to be a girlfriend material?

All the crushes I've had finish before starting to be something serious. It is more or less like this: I meet the guy, start to talk to him and become his friend first, if things work out we like each other, then start knowing more about us, maybe we kissed and after all those months or a year pass nothing happen. They leave and get a girlfriend elsewhere.

So, what am I missing? I think I look good, I have an open personality. I try to overcome my shyness often showing them how much I care for them. I don't press them to give me an answer about becoming bf and gf, I give them their time to think and if they don't figure out anything just move on.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Personality is usually key, when its within someone that actually cares, chemistry secondary again when its a guy that actually cares. And by that I mean he's not a sleaze bag guy that just wants to get in your pants to notch his belt a few points over.

    When you meet a guy, that cares. How you act is important, don't try to sell yourself as something your not, and try to understand his quarks and things that drive him off the wall a bit to give yourself a little chance to see if he is right for you before beginning anything, believe it or not some guys are turned off by a lot of things girls do on a daily and constant basis that they don't think they're doing a bad thing, but to some guys, its like nails on a chalk board, for instance, myself, baby talk will kill me (interest wise).
    Secondly Chemistry, women tend to follow this more than guys, but guys sometimes have a good upbringing in this, though if their not overly pigheaded about it.
    Lastly, your looks should be secondary, what makes you who you are primary, most guys (good ones) aren't looking for the overly ambiguous bagongas (forgive me attempts at teenage humor, its been 20 years). They want someone that they can stand and want to be with for the next 40 - 50 years of their lives, no guy wants to go through life losing half of his assets, having multiple kids with multiple lives, and dealing with drama from multiple bad relationships. And if they do, I am totally unfathomly lost with how we are the ruling force in society.

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What Guys Said 3

  • The odds are, these men were opposed to waiting until marriage to have sex. The reason they have wasted so much of your time is probably because you weren't clear enough up front that you want to wait until marriage. Do not do as @Anonymous suggested and get sexual with guys who are not committed to you. Instead, just be more upfront that you want to wait until marriage. That will cause non-serious guys to stop wasting your time, so you can then use that time on guys who are more agreeable to you and your chosen way of life.

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    • Yea 90% of the time its that issue, msot guys are impatient in this late stage of human development, its as if we have gone back to when life expectancies were near nothing in the late 14th - 15th century. I mean seriously, come on guys, your balls aren't gonna fall off to wait, better to develop love, than corrupt it, and marry the wrong person.

  • It's kind of hard to tell since I know nothing about you... can you give some examples of times you've overcome your shyness to show how much you care for them?

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    • Being affectionate in public, holding hands, starting kisses, touching. I try to show them that I care by being supportive and being there to listen when they have problems and just want to complain with someone.

  • So you date a guy for months or even a year, and have no sexual chemistry except for maybe a few kisses? Do you have any idea how many people kiss on the first date? Kissing is almost nothing. Men want to feel sexually desired, even if you aren't willing to have sex, there should have been more than kissing after that much time. It sounds like you are moving so slow, they don't see the relationship going anywhere.

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    • Where I'm from dates or even the term dating doesn't exist (at least not between young people), you just stick with someone and hang out or spend time anywhere, which is almost always seen as a friends with benefits relationship. I've had sexual chemistry with them but they just step away and leave, maybe find a girlfriend elsewhere and come back just to ask me if I want to be the 2nd because they "don't like" their new girlfriend. Sometimes I wonder If I should have bugged them with the "what are we" or the "I want us to be serious" talks even though I knew the answers.

    • Where are you from? I have never heard of a place like that.

    • hahahaha Dominican Republic is an island in the Caribbean sea xD

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