How to get to know someone you've previously been intimate with without leading them to think it'll happen again?

The other day I went out with a guy who is a friend of a friend, before that we'd chatted at parties and texted a fair bit but we didn't really know one another. It wasn't supposed to be a date (it was just a charity dance run through our local footy club, we all went in a group) buut we drank quite a lot and I ended up kissing him and we very nearly had sex. That was a mistake as before then I never really felt any attraction to him. It was simply my drunk mind allowing his advances to go too far. I did tell him afterwards that I was happy to still chill with him but that I had no plans to reenact that night. I guess it was my subtle way of telling him I just wanted to be friends.
He said that was fine but since then he has asked me on what I'm pretty certain is a date. Normally I'm very adamant that if there's no attraction I would not go out on a date with a guy but I can't very well pull out that card after the night we had. I'm beginning to think that maybe deep down I am actually attracted to him, why else would drunk me allow us to go so far? And he is a nice guy who seems to make me laugh and genuinely seems to like me (although that could just be his libido taking). I want to get to know him to see if the attraction I obviously felt that night comes back buut I have no guarantees that it will. Is it possible to do get to know him and accept this date without leading him to thinking I'm definitely up for round two or , even worse, letting him think I want a relationship?


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What Guys Said 2

  • This is why drinking is bad, it causes you to do things that you wouldn't do with a clear mind.
    I have a friend that was in a very similar situation. He knew a girl from local parties. She was friendly, but he was not attracted to her. One night they were both drunk and hooked up. She got pregnant from that one night.
    He never wanted to have sex with her again, or marriage. They now have a child, but don't live together.
    Their lives are changed forever.
    The attraction you felt that night was just the alcohol talking.
    In your sober state, you are not attracted to him. You can pull out the I don't want to date you card.
    If you had been on a legitimate date and then didn't like the guy, you would back out on that one too.
    I would lean towards your sober feelings.(you did say adamant)

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  • Well if you're sure it's a date then prob gunna be flrting, prob gunna think you like him. I have seen a lot of girls have a small amount of alcohol and go after guys instantly so... Don't flirt back, lead him on, etc. That also kinda kills any mood though.

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