I really love my gf but since I'm afraid to loose her I force myself not to be needy or clingy so instead I come across aloof sometimes. Is it ok not to be in the mood and not text her one day out of a month of intense communication? Or is it just plain rude?
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I do feel that men and women differ with their perception of neediness. It seems to me that women are perhaps a bit more needy and desire more compassion, increased verbal communication, want to be called pretty PAST of the first 4 months of dating when puppy love has worn off. It seems like a girl being needy is more of a dealbreaker for men then a guy being needy.
However, it depends HOW you are needy. Are you needy and a doormat? Not attractive. However, do you characterize needy as texting her every day multiple times per day? If that were the case, that is NOT needy, I would love that, haha.
If you are concerned about being needy, you need to take a step back for a while and observe and monitor your tone. before you say something, think about it coming from someone else to you. Does it sound like something that an insecure/lacking in confidence person would say? If so, DO NOT SAY IT. NEVER let on your lack of confidence unless something is really really bothering you (like you believe she is cheating on you.. don't say things like, "do you really like me? Do you think im good enough for you.. etc. etc." Another good way to help keep these things in check is to wait a while. If she takes hours to respond to your text, take the amount of time and double it.
Honestly though, if my boyfriend didn't talk to me for a day and I was used to talking to him multiple times per day I would be pissed and confused. It does not turn me on. Just tone down the frequency of texts and make sure there is no ounce of insecurity in your tone. Insecurity is the turn off. It is not frequent contact. Just be confident in your ways, but be kind, a good boyfriend, and have self-respect. Have your own life, activities and hobbies, but when you pay attention to her give your full attention. In short, be there for her but don't be hanging around for her. If you are constantly paranoid about losing her, you will.1