In a relationship and I have a kid?

I have been dating my boyfriend since December'13. I have a 3 year old daughter he's only met once when he drove us home. (This was months ago) He hasn't really seemed to interested in meeting her (as in he hasn't asked ever) and everyone around me keeps telling me this is strange as apparently he should want to...

If this were you, would you want to meet the kid? Would this be something you would ask about or just ignore until the girl asked?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm childfree and have no interest in children, so I'm not sure if I'm going to give you the opinion you're after. The guys I've dated who had kids were no different to me than guys who had parents. The children were family just like his parents were. I also had the attitude that the child already has a mother and there was no need for me to be involved unless I was faced with doing things that involved a family outing. I didn't request to see the child, and if my ex forced a relationship on me that I found uncomfortable (because really, I am uncomfortable around kids as I just prefer adult company) I found it invasive. I asked about the child just as much as I'd ask about his brother or mother. I simply can't compute the difference between relatives. I also didn't want any confusion that the child had a mother and I wasn't that person. If the child and I had any connection it was just that I was his dad's new girlfriend and I let him decide how to take that. My interest was in my boyfriend and overtly no one else in his family. If your boyfriend shows no interest it could be similar to my situation, where I just had no interest in children in general, and preferred adult company and wanted companionship in my partner, not from anyone else in their family. They were there and I was friendly enough, but that was it. It could be really nothing unless he is flat out expressing he just doesn't want to see your daughter at all.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I would date a girl with a kid if I was gonna be in a long relationship.

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  • If i had already meet the kid then i would ask about them, not everytime but sometime

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What Girls Said 2

  • He probably is simply leaving it up to you. A lot of single mothers are very protective and particular about when they want to introduce their child to the man they are involved with. I think it's good that he hasn't tried to push you or pressure you into this. Personally, I just think that means he respects you and is waiting for you to give the "okay" for it. Of course, he is the only one who can tell you how he feels, I don't know what he's thinking. If it is this concerning to you, why don't you talk to him about it?

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  • No offense, but most guys under the age of 25 are not going to want to meet your kid unless they have kids too. I really don't mean to be harsh, but generally your average guy isn't interested in filling in a daddy role to a child he did not create. Guys don't work so hard to avoid getting a girl pregnant *pulling out, encouraging birth control, wrapping it up* so that they can ultimately end up playing dad to another guy's child. That's honestly probably why he doesn't show a whole lot of interest in meeting her. He may feel like you expect him to feel in a family unit. While you might claim you don't want or need him to act like her father... what mother wouldn't? Lets just be real for a moment woman to woman: if you have a beautiful child and it's just the two of you, what female wouldn't want a good man to be added in that picture? I don't know any who honestly feel that way deep down in their heart.

    Not only that but even if he was interested and things didn't work out, he is not attached to a child whom he has absolutely zero legal rights to. Dating people who have children is just kinda messy so some guys will try to avoid and maybe even ignore that aspect of the relationship.

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