Fooling around and falling with a girl who had a boyfriend. Need some advice on this messed up situation?

I met this girl a while back and we quickly became really close. It was probably because we both lived in the same accommodation but it got to the point where we'd spent nearly everyday together for nearly 2 months.

And we've fooled and done everything in bed but have sex. She says she wants to do things right by me and wants me to be patient for now while she sorts her problems out.

Problem is I only found out like 2 weeks into it that she actually had a boyfriend but I had no idea since they never seemed to see each other or spend time together.

And it's so messed up because I've now met the guy and he's a genuine nice person. It's not fair on him but at the same time without sounding mushy I've legitimately fallen for this girl and have stronger feelings for her than I've ever had even with my previous girlfriend. Like not saying she's the one but in my eyes she's pretty god damn close. It really isn't just lust either, she's opened up to me and told me things from her past that you don't just tell anyone (don't even think her current boyfriend knows all of it).

During the summer she's gone back to see her other family (parents divorced) in another country and the other guy had bought tickets way before to go with her for a few weeks. So after all of this fine, in the past month she's been away with him and I honestly don't know where we stand any more.

I've even been to her parents twice before and stayed over. She said she see's us going somewhere but I can't shake the feeling she's not actually sure what she wants. I feel as though she wants both of us in her life or maybe she feels guilty but that's obviously not fair on either one of us.

Is this whole thing just too messed up? I'm honestly not the sort person to mess with people's relationship or do anything like this but I really do care for her.

Sorry for the long read, I'm writing all this on my phone.
any advice would be genuinely appreciated if you've made it to the end.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, I'd drop her and peace out. She uncertain about what she wants, you don't want to be a relationship wrecker, and that poor boyfriend of hers... If anything you should get out of that situation to cover your butt. If she's cheating on this guy with you she'd cheat on you with another.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Just back off. If the bf and her don't work out then you can give it a try. When she returns just be platonic friends. At this point if you were to date her could you trust her after how she's been to this current bf who you say is a genuinely nice guy?

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What Guys Said 1

  • what you feel for isn't the person she is. keep that in mind. she's cheating on you and her bf by being dishonest and unfaithful. granted you two aren't exclusive but it's a sign of lack of respect that she wouldn't be honest

    Is this whole thing just too messed up? Yes more or less in the sense that she isnt' girl she led you to believe she was. you also have to consider that even if she broke up with her bf tomorrow and got together with you what would be the chances that she'd cheat on you with someone else? it seemed awfully easy for her to lead you on and lie to you. I'd bet a good amount of money that she would do it again

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