Can strong attraction form over time, even if you're not too attracted to your date?

It's one of my female friend that introduced me to this guy last month, who seems like my male version. I could have sworn it's like the twin brother I never had. Even my friend says that too. I've been on a couple longer dates before during my HS years (now I'm 19) but never felt comfortable making it towards gf and bf stage. I only went as far as making-out.

Everything is ok but the thing is, I just like him but don't feel that passion nor intense romantic feelings.

I'm going to continue dating him (no, we're not bf and gf yet). Now I'm wondering will those feelings develop over time?

Updates:
Thing is I don't my first time to be a mistake. There have been a couple male cheater in my family so I guess that's why I'm afraid of just going for anyone. Should I just continue dating someone I'm not too attractive and let it grow over time?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It can. I am not an attractive woman, so guys generally don't like me. A few years ago I met a guy through work who I was friendly with, but I overheard him telling some of the other guys he could never date me because he wasn't attracted to me. The others originally asked him why he didn't ask me out since the two of us got along so well. Last year it turned out he really liked me a lot, but I didn't know it. I didn't find out until after I went out with another co-worker and he ended up being pissed off about it. I found out everything later, but I won't date him now. I would have, but he got pissed off at both me and the other co-worker and neither one of us knew he was interested in me. It was his own fault, he should have asked me out if he liked me. Me and the other co-worker didn't connect, so we didn't have anymore dates after that. However, he still gets jealous if he sees us talking.

    That's one care of knowing that attraction can change.

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    • *case not care

What Guys Said 3

  • It can absolutely grow over time. For me it's taken four years but when it did happen... People are different and sometimes we can even surprise ourselves. Lots of ground can be covered by being friends and just enjoying each other's company.

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  • Genuine feelings of love may grow, as in truly caring for someone, but honestly if you're not attracted to him by a couple of dates, you probably won't be. Ask yourself why you're not attracted to him & go from there.

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  • It can develop. If you find him physically unattractive it's less likely. But if you find his personality good and are neutral on his physical appearance, then yes it can develop.

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    • Yes, I like his personality but physically I just find him average as an ''yeah, he's kind of cute'' but nothing more.

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    • Don't mind to jack this conversation, buy psychologically speaking it has been proven that men tend to be attracted to looks way more than women (who are more attracted to personality and status - and yes, status includes money but not in the way most people think about it).

      The thing is, if the "If you find him physically unattractive it's less likely" is based on your experience with women, I'm afraid you can't translate that into a woman's perspective

What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe give it a couple of dates, but in my experience the attraction doesn't grow. It becomes forced.

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    • I'm scared of making a mistake if I don't go for it and feel like this is my only chance.

    • Unlike two guys that pushed for sex on only a couple days (bad dates), this one doesn't.

    • Well you can always give it a shot, but you don't need to be desperate - you're only 19!

  • Completely. I wasn't really attracted to my boyfriend when I met him, but now I find him so freaking attractive lol.

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