Guys, do you make a girl your F buddy only when she is not good enough to be your gf?

Question itself is plenty self-explanatory.
And now it seems to happen to be too often: they just want no hassle sex with me. What am I supposed to think? Am I not hot enough or something is not enough to be a gf?

Updates:
I know lots of people say it's them.. commitment issues whatsoever.. but the ones I met have had girl-friends before. So they are capable to commit. Just not to me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • All romatic couples use each other.

    Many guys want to perpetuate the old double standard. It could be that the guy does not feel himself worthy of being your real boyfriend and is not your equal. This sort of character is under your control, so take charge of him and discard him as you would an old toy at your pleasure.

    Buf if you feel you are being used and don't enjoy his company and want him only for sex, a good woman can always upgrade her sex life. Sex is healthy, good for self esteem, harms no one, and is lots of fun. Always use a condom.

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    • this is new, that he feels he is not good enough for me?

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    • But I'm asking when they decided to just want sex with me.(not me decided to just want sex with them). it can also because they feel they aren't good enough?

    • Yes, I offered that suggestion from my own experience as an underdog involved with a respected academic PhD. My self-esteem returned after moving out of her apartment and improving my own academic standing. Partners should be equals, don't you agree? But sex just for fun is okay too. Maslow rates sex well on his "Hierarchy of Needs" along with food and so forth. The main thing is that you feel in control and that your needs are being satisfied. Back to the subject, perhaps you are the dominant party in the relationship. Cheers!

What Guys Said 11

  • I have never, and never will, make a girl my casual sex partner. I believe in a committed relationship.

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  • He may want sex without the time and commitment of energy of a relationship.

    It isn't always because "the girl isn't good enough".

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  • I personally am not afraid of commitment issues, but I would not want to be in a relationship if I see that the girl is too complicated. A lot of the time girls make everyday things seem bigger issues than what they really are, so I can only imagine how difficult significant things would get. Too stressful.

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  • If and only if you're willing, you're hot... yet not girlfriend material (personality etc). if your'e not hot enough you probably won't be either. gf material is always a toss-up cuz it depends on person

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  • It means they just want the sex. I hope you say NO

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  • It's if you're hot but not our type ( like we find your personality annoying, stupid etc.)

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  • No because I will not have sex outside of marriage.

    Guess that makes me an alien, huh?

    If I could only find a girl who shares the same values..

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  • No. The two is completely unrelated. It doesn't have ANYTHING to do with each other.

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  • If a girl is okay with being fuck buddies with a guy, she's not good enough to be my gf.

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  • yh basically

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  • friends with benefits can go both ways. You could say the same about women.

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    • what do you mean "both ways"

What Girls Said 2

  • The issue seems to be more with them than you. Fear of commitment, not wanting to hurt you if things don't work out, having the ability to snap up another girl if they feel like it. If you let them have sex with you, you are giving him the benefit of continuing to act this way. I think most women who have a virtue to want to have a relationship with their sex should not be allowing guys get what they want while the girl gets nothing. Unless you love sex and no string yourself, then it should be no issue, but if you want love and commitment then the guys you are sleeping with seem wrong for you. :(

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    • Is it because Im not good enough so they want to keep their opinions open? And it's not like those guys don't do relationships.. they all have those ex gfs...

    • Well if you're giving up sex so easily without giving him a chance to work harder at being with you, then he will view you as sex only and think that's all you've got to give. Men like project-women and having to work at things whether it's fixing a computer or a car, and if there is nothing to fix, there's no need to work at it. Women are the same. If he thinks you run fine on your own and you don't need his effort, then he'll continue to view you this way and try and find a woman in the meantime who he finds is like a puzzle to solve so he feels he accomplished something in order to win her over all the other guys.

  • Some guys will say no, but the true answer is yes. People say they want a F buddy because "they're too busy" or "they just aren't interested in a relationship" but the reality is that if somebody comes along that you are attracted to who brings a lot to the table and makes you feel thrilled about life: you are not going to pass them by. Unless you are a complete and total fool. To be totally honest, most girls (and guys) are simply a reusable in-between while people wait for someone more impactful to come along. Ouch, right? That's exactly why I will never engage in a situation where a guy is literately using me for his own selfish, self-centered sexual gratification. It would make me feel disgusting like a sex object. I've worked pretty damn hard to be a good human being and be worth a lot beyond what I could do with my vagina. I would like that to be recognized.

    But anyway yes, if I a guy wants you as a F buddy then that means he views you as hook-up material and not girlfriend material.

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    • your words do make sense. So am I supposed to just feel shit about myself?
      and how many dates does it take for someone to realize you are gf material? I actually met a guy who told me straight to my face "do you want a F buddy" before he even knew my name.. is it me not good enough?

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    • so if i like a guy who wants sex only and is not interested in doing other things then i'm in a dead end? i have no other opinion but to stop talking to him then?

    • It's a better long term decision not to entertain a guy who only wants sex. Have some self-respect; it gets you a better result than giving in.

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