What does it really mean when he says he wants to be friends first?

So this guy I've liked for nearly 2 years has finally ended his 11 year on and off again relationship- this girl really did a number on him, plus she holds the children they share together over his head. I understand that he is not ready for a commitment- he says he likes me and has set some ground rules.

He wants to be friends first before anything can happen, and that he just wants it to happen if it happens- is this basically a kiss of death- telling me that I need to go and find someone else.

We have maybe had a couple of conversations, so no we really don't know each other. What good advice can you give me- should I just cut my losses and move on from this. I don't want to, but I also don't want to be strung along.

He is normally the type of guy that tells the truth.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Stay friends, he's not ready for another relationship. Wait until you notice he's sending signs that he may like you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Exiting a relationship can make one careful of the mystification of the honeymoon period and pursuing a relationship on grounds of sexual attraction mainly.

    I and my ex jumped together on sexual grounds, and while we remain amiable I regretted that there was never a point when we were friends and enjoyed time together outside of sex. If we had, we might have recognized that we weren't suited for each other in terms of plans or personality.

    If you are patient and it turns out that you have some long term compatibility, you may find an enduring relationship. Jump the gun and you may lose years on the course to an inevitable separation.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would date other men. If liking him prevents that then distance yourself from him.

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