Should I even consider trying to date someone, or should I just buckle down and focus on myself?

I'm 22 years old. I just left a 3 year long relationship about a month ago, but I do miss the constant female company. I've never had a problem talking to women for the most part, and I've never had a problem being found attractive. BUT here's my current situation:

I don't have a job and I can't even get one because I'm so tied down doing both the nursing program and being on the wrestling team. I pretty much only have time to study all fucking day, go to practice, and sleep. I'm constantly broke because I have a terrible spending habit. I literally have to rely on refund checks and my parents for money, which makes me feel like shit. I have a shitty car with a completely discolored side of paint, over 250k miles, and most importantly NO AIR CONDITIONING! I prefer women to be a couple years older than me, but they are usually taken/engaged or want someone who at least has their shit together.

Sometimes I feel like it would be better to just focus on myself and my goals. Any advice?

By the way, I graduate next year. When I do, the first thing I'm doing is moving to Florida and getting a job there. The first thing I'm going to buy is a new god damn car. I'm going to drink beer and eat oysters every damn day at the beach.


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What Girls Said 6

  • Yes focus on yourself because a man can't offer himself fully when he hasn't given himself the time to accomplish the things he needs to do first in life. Yay for Steve Harvey. Btw, the update literally made me laugh.

    • Haha. I've been spending way too much time down here XD

      It's a much needed vacation though.

  • SillyQuirks summed it up pretty much perfectly... Just focus on yourself for now and love will come along in time :)

  • life isn't easy. You seem to know this better than anyone. I don't think you should be %100 against dating a woman, but you should definitely prioritize. Just leave your heart open and wait for the right girl; she'll come to you eventually.

  • You should date it's allwAys fun!! Make time for it

  • I would just focus on school. Nursing school is no joke. If you're planning on moving anyway, why get tied down with someone?

    • I've fantasized about taking my classmate crush with me after we graduate. But that's a stretch. Quite silly and unrealistic.

  • can I ask why you left your three year relationship? I know it doesn't have much to do with your question but I'm curious. I recently just got out of a three year relationship as well, and I'm madly in love with my ex and can't even picture myself trying to get to know anyone else. At least not for a long, long time. I'm trying to focus on myself.

    • It's because she was madly in love with me, and I just didn't feel the same way. I felt like I was doing her wrong staying with her. She wanted to get married and I couldn't do it. I started getting temptations being surround by beautiful women in my classes (there is literally a 10-1 girl to guy ratio), and I was getting a lot more attention than I was used to. At first it was "harmless flirting" but it eventually became more than that. I grew feelings for certain girls in my class. One hot girl was married and wanted to fuck me, but I held back because of my GF and I kind of grew a resentment toward her because of it. It happened over a long period of time but eventually I was getting ruthless. I tried to cheat on her once in Florida, but was only stopped because this girl said she didn't want to fuck someone with a gf. We still kissed and were all over each other, so it's pretty much still cheating.

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    • Reading your story is really heartbreaking. You say she was madly in love with you and you didn't feel the same way, and now you say you love her. I can tell you attracted to other girls for a reason other than "I was a horny douche." Were you simply "in love" or did you two truly love each other? Did you accepted and truly worthy of her feelings for you? I know asking these sorts of questions can be painful, but looking at the reasoning behind how you feel is essential if you wish to avoid such an unpleasant experience in the future.

    • @Roycaryn

      To be honest, I'm not sure I really want to continue talking about it. I know that sounds rude, but it's the truth.

What Guys Said 1

  • Take it from me, bro:

    If u feel insecure about ANYTHING in terms of dating (ur biggest one seems to be money), then u shouldn't date.

    I had the same money flow issue insecurity in my last relationship... and it bothered me to the point that I was moody whenever we went out and she had to pay. I didn't enjoy that relationship as much as I should have (although it was great outside of my insecurity).


    Don't feel insecure about ur car... be fortunate u have one! That is the important thing (unless u are going for very materialistic girls).

    • You are right. I don't even have to have a huge amount of money, but I want enough to never be in a situation where I was too broke to take her somewhere nice or something.

      About the car though, I am fortunate to have one. Still, I can't see how a girl who is all prettied up in a nice dress and curled hair would enjoy stepping into a burning oven (which is what my car feels like) and sitting/sweating during the drive to the date. I literally break sweats on my drive to class which is like 5 minutes away.

      Regardless, I think I'll focus on myself like most people are saying.

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    • Nah they're not stuck up. I'm probably just thinking way too much into it lol.

      But hey thanks for the good advice.

    • no problem bro