Do guys realize how important it is to make their woman feel wanted?

Do guys realize how important it is to make their woman feel wanted?

This guy I am dating, we have good conversations about different topics. However, when it comes to getting me to be intimate with him I can't be. He doesn't make me feel wanted in anyway. That is a huge part to becoming intimate.

Why tell you like this type of girl when I am the opposite type of girl?

Nothing will ever happen sexually. All you will ever be to me now is a friend. He put himself there because he doesn't try.

I compliment him all the time and now it is to a point where I am like,"hey I bought this dress to get a reaction from you and nothing" So annoying. I am over it, but my point is... why do some guys think that they will get intimacy without making the other person feel wanted too?

Updates:
Like if you think your woman is beautiful, wouldn't it be nice to tell her once in awhile?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It took me years to come to grips with this idea. There's a lot of truth in what you're saying and many women share similar feelings on the matter of compliments and feeling beautiful and desired. If sexually frustrated men understood this and accepted it, most of these men would experience the love of a woman or at least understand why their love life doesn't exist. Knowing how to make a woman feel special and desired is one of the strongest assets a man can possess, granted he passed the prerequisite of having established a higher value (status/higher education/brag worthy career/appearance/etc).

    What irks me about this is that it comes naturally for most guys. We know in our minds what we want to say, but we don't say it. Why? Because of bullshit. No, seriously. There is a plethora or reasons why a guy wouldn't be as assertive in his expressions of desire for a woman and ironically none of them really help his cause.

    I'll just list a few reasons so maybe you understand both sides of the playing field.

    1. He believes girls want to take serious guys slow, so he takes it really slow. So slow that you have to tell him to speed up.
    2. He believes that he will sound just like every other guy by throwing himself at you verbally and emotionally, and his value is tied to his discipline.
    3. He believes that girls don't really want sex as much as he does, so he tries to play along with what she "wants" by playing word games and talking, talking, and talking.
    4. He believes that you know you're beautiful and you've had plenty of positive reinforcement, so he focuses on other things that he hopes will impress you and win you over.
    5. He believes that you can read his thoughts through his eyes because you are so compatible, and when he is "clearly" thinking that you are beautiful he forgets to properly express it.

    There's more but 5 is a solid number to stop at.

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    • Very good answer. Most impressive. I am glad to see a very logical answer.

    • Good 5s and am agree with u.

What Guys Said 8

  • I'm guessing he just doesn't feel as strongly about you as you (once upon a time) felt about him.

    Relationships change. I'm sure you'll find somebody he wants you just as much as you want him!

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  • What compliments have you given him?

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    • Yes, he should compliment you, or rather, reassure you of his feelings.

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    • What was he saying about the type of girl he likes and how did that differ to you?

    • He use to be a one night stand kind of guy. He always says he is picky with his women. I wonder what makes me so special. I don't feel special. He use to ask for tons of pictures of me in different underwear because he just likes them. He works 12 hours a day and so do I , different shifts, so it's hard to always be together. But I have been so tired, I am tired of taking pictures.

  • Maybe you're with the wrong guy?

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    • Apparently.

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    • Was that sarcasm?

    • Not at all. Complete agreement.

  • Yes, it's important to tell a woman how beautiful she is. No woman should just be
    used for sex but whatever her personality is, language she carry's gives me what
    type of person they are so i stay clear of them type of women

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  • It's not just men, I don't think either gender really appreciates each other.

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    • Possibly, but if your gf compliments you and points out all your positive traits and makes you feel wanted. Wouldn't you want to do that for her?

    • I do, and lots of guys do as well.

    • Well, I am not getting it.

  • Because we don't understand female sexuality. It needs to be taught in schools.

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    • It doesn't mean the guy doesn't love you. The media always focuses on the guy and his needs. Guys are not taught how to make their girlfriends happy. Society is to blame.

    • That was a good point too.

  • Do you watch Total Divas on E?

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    • No (answer was too short)

    • Hm, you may not get my answer then... you should start watching it

  • The problem is when a lot of guys try to make the woman feel wanted, the woman often gets upset and calls him clingy or desperate. It is hard to find the right balance to please a woman, and every woman is different. He may also just not be a romantic guy, and doesn't care about compliments and stuff, so puts a low priority on them.

    If you are hoping for him to pick up on hints like, wearing a dress and hoping he will know you did it to get a reaction out of him, he isn't going to pick up on that. You need to tell him the kinds of things you like and expect out of a man.

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    • I wasn't asking that. I was giving a reason where my question came from. I am asking you PERSONALLY if you know to make your woman feel wanted

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    • @update, I don't really feel comfortable telling women they are beautiful or when we first start dating because I am afraid they will feel I am objectifying them, or they will think I am only interested in their looks.

      Women told men loud and clear they didn't want us to objectify women and no other women around bothered to disagree. That is why so many guys call girls cute. Things like puppies are cute so it isn't as objectifying as some other words like sexy or hot. I have since realized that women actually do like to be sexualized more than they care to admit, but it is still something I don't feel very comfortable with. I have talked to other guys that feel the same way.

    • I like clingy. I like to text all day and go to sleep together, and hang out together. Of course, have your life. I work 60 hours a week and I make time for my hobbies and friends, but every minute I have to be with him I want to be with him and when I am not with him I want to know he wants to be with me too because I rather be with him then anywhere else.

What Girls Said 1

  • He should absolutely make you feel beautiful and wanted. Maybe he's not good with his feelings? My boyfriend tells me things like I'm gorgeous and perfect and amazing but he seriously lacks the other stuff. Sometimes I feel like he tells me these things because he feels like he has to... and it's hard to know if he actually means it. We don't really talk about the deep stuff that I find intimate in a relationship.. so I sort of understand what you're saying.

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    • I know what you mean. You don't want it to feel obligated. I felt like my ex only told me I was attractive or smart because he felt he had to. Thank you for understanding.

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