Boyfriend still good friends with the mother of his children... should I be worried?

Just so you get the picture, I am a 24 and my boyfriend is 31, we have been dating for eight months (we have been living together for the last 2 months) and have a really great relationship. He is kind, considerate and we connect on so many different levels. He is the most amazing person I have ever been with. I have two kids from a previous relationship and he has one. I am not on great terms with the father of my kids. It was an abusive relationship but he still takes his kids a lot and is great with them, just has lots of issues when it comes to women and relationships. My boyfriend takes his son twice a week after he's done work and until the childs bedtime, where he returns his (5 year old) son to his mother, and takes him every second weekend for the weekend. I have no qualms about this whatsoever. Our sons are basically the same age, they get along great, the kid is a good kid. The only thing that makes me concerned is that on Mondays when he picks up his son and drops him off he is only gone for twenty minutes because thats how long it takes to get there and back, and the boy's mother isn't there on Monday evenings because she works. Every other time he goes to pick him up and drop him off, he is gone between 45 minutes and an hour and a half. I asked him about this a few times and he knows it makes me insecure but I just don't get it. I understand there are things that you need to discuss about your child... but 3-4 times a week for an hour-an hour and a half everytime. He says that he is just spending time with his son while he is there, and they are just friends and they don't talk much or whatever, but it just seems weird to me. If you feel the need to hang out with her everytime you see her, why aren't you guys still together? I haven't said this because I know it sounds kind of crazy, but I am just wondering what you guys think? Normal or not? Should I be worried? Are they just friends or is it weird? Thanks for the reply.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a good and not a bad thing so please deal with it. They may not be friends but it sure is a good sign that he is not unstable and hateful with his past relationships.

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    • I don't even understand what this means... I am dealing with it, I just want to know if its normal or not. what does that mean they may not be friends?

    • It's normal. Sorry my English is so difficult to understand.

What Guys Said 2

  • My step dad is super nice to all his ex's "he has 3 different parents to all kids" anyways, if he isn't nice to them they won't let him see his kids anymore cause the moms are all crazy bitches, and they will like move out of state, so your boyfriend might be in a similar situation, its harder for men cause the mother usually has custody and all of the control

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    • the mother isn't crazy, she is really nice and sweet actually. I can be insecure and I try to hide it. I am not mad, I just wanted to know if he is spending time with her because of something else. But if it is healthy and it is just my insecurities playing me, then I can deal with that.

    • It's normal, don't worry about it too much

  • It's not just normal, it's preferred. Do you think your life would be easier if his ex wife had made him a bitter angry mistrustful man?

    You do sound a little crazy. Maybe dating a divorcee is not for you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's normal. I had a friend whose parent where divorced and they where really good friends. There's nothing wrong with that. Even though they're relationship didn't workout thy still liked each other as people. And any problems they did have where easily overlooked because they had a greater goal, raising their child. It just depends in the relationship, there's is really good

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  • Where's there is smoke there is usually fire. If this is your gut telling you something isn't right, it isn't. Almost NO man is going to reject having one gf and then an ex he can fool around with on the side. I am NOT saying that this IS the case in your situation, but I say just do it back to him. Act overly chummy with your ex and see how much he likes it.

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