I need to change something. Anything?

Im a relationship kind of guy. Im not one to have a "fling", or anything one might consider casual when it comes to relationships. This includes random hook ups, FWB, etc. But, I've never had a relationship thats lasted very long, and I've really only been in two. I want a lasting, committed relationship with a woman terribly, but I keep finding myself falling short. I want to experience what its like to be in love, to say "I love you" to a woman that I know loves me. I've been on plenty of dates. Any woman I've been out with, is normally never around past the 3rd date. This has been going on for years. My last relationship was over 4 years ago, and now, at 27, with a great job, house, etc., I find myself at a level of loneliness I never thought I would reach. I have been on dates with 19 women in the last 4 years, and never made it past a few dates. Now, I find it so difficult to summon even the slightest bit of confidence to ask a girl out, that I haven't even tried in months. I hate to say I've given up, but that seems to be the case. I have built up so much stress and anxiety over it all that I can't deal with it anymore. My friends seem perplexed as to why this happens to me over and over again. They tell me Im a great guy, and women should be fighting over me. Maybe they are just trying to cheer me up. I've managed to focus solely on work and nothing else. I dont like to drink, and no Im not suicidal, so lets rule that out now. I just need to figure out how to change.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Where do you meet these women and what do you look for in them?

    The fact you are successful in picking up "dates" means you are somewhat successful. So I would say that you should continue to try and meet more women to date but focus on your own life, outside of relationships, as well.
    Perhaps the course of the relationship is where the issue is. Do you take things slow and try to get to know these women before taking the next step?

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    • Thanks for your comments. Yea I don't have an issue with meeting women. And I'm really not picky at all. I have met women in all sorts of places and situations. At the store, weddings, coffee shops, etc. I even met one in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico on a scuba diving trip. I take things very slow with women. I don't get any gratification from having sex without a solid connection, and a few of these girls thought I moved too slow (sex after only 2 dates?). My life is pretty balanced and I shouldn't complain. I have a great job, fun hobbies, and plenty of free time to travel and relax. This is the one part of my life I've never been able to have any success or true joy in.

    • Keep up the positivity. No problem, just try to focus on women who share your hobbies. It sounds like you're meeting them in the right places but don't get caught up on one too quickly.

      Date (not have sex with) several at a time, or "talk" to several or more and date one, since dating can cost money. Until you know or think a girl will work, don't invest fully in her, keep your options open on the first few dates.

What Girls Said 2

  • You're still pretty young, so dont worry about that. As for why the girls arnt getting far with you, what is their excuse? Because from what i got in your description, you want commitment. And i know for damn sure there are girls waiting in line for a guy like you... just keep doing whaf you're doing, and really try to get to know the girk first, and then go on a date.. take things slow :) and romantic!

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    • All over the board as far as excuses. Some have said they thought they were ready but suddenly they aren't. One said I didn't have enough relationship experience. I've been told I moved too slow with them, my job is too dangerous, they didn't think THEY were right for me, they didn't think I was right for them, I'm too far ahead of them in life for them to be ready, I didn't have enough in common, etc. Name it, I've probably been told it at least once.

    • Oh im sorry, thats so harsh..😞

  • U didn't chose a right one... don't wory :) ... a good guy like u will get a awesome girl soon... all the best... b happy ^_^

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What Guys Said 0

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