How can I get a girlfriend "instantly"?

any advice or tricks or methods before i kill myself?
i will do any thing to do it in easy way
i know there is an easy way
please im dying

Updates:
you know what
i'm so jealous of Adam in the bible
because God give him a girl out of nowhere
instantly

just because God saw him lonely
damn
i hate the system of dating

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just buy the insta-grow girlfriend! Only 12 easy payments of 19.95$! Just place the insta-grow girlfriend on the patented hydro mat, add water, and watch as your girlfriend springs to life! Its INSTANT! Don't feel like cooking your own meals? INSTA-GROW A GIRLFRIEND. Don't feel like sucking your own dick? INSTA-GROW A GIRLFRIEND. Its the 100% proven* way not to kill yourself. But wait, the savings don't stop there, if you act now, we'll throw in 2 additional insta-grow girlfriends and an ax to kill your mother with absolutely free! Thats right, we'll include the happy time matricide package, absolutely free. It slices, it dices, it chops, it hacks. Inherit more than just your mothers basement! Enjoy stretching your legs in the upper floors of the house which were previously off limits to your kind! We guarantee** you will be satisfied with your purchase.

    *insta grow girlfriend not proven to prevent suicidal thoughts. in some cases girlfriends may make you want to die sooner.
    **we do not guarantee you will get away with murder. your satisfaction is up to us to decide.

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    • if that insta-grow thing is just real, i will not even put my question here
      if that is real, then there will be no guys will ever be lonely and dying anymore
      i wish

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    • sigh... indeed, its a grass is greener situation. if you dont have one you want one, and if you have one, you wish you were single again. -_- i prefer fwb. much better that way

    • i don't want to become a playboy
      i just need one and then i will live me life to the fullest
      and will live happily ever after

What Girls Said 8

  • This is always a sure way to go. fc04.deviantart.net/.../...ngrownerffa-d5j3evi.gif

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    • Danny Phantom!!!

      Where did that come from though? I have seen all the episodes and I do not remember that happening.

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    • no F*****G way
      i'm not looking for sex

    • Waiting rarely works especially if one wants to kill themselves.

  • 1) Pick up a hooker

    2) Buy a sex doll

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    • Show All
    • @RichardBoehner, do shut the fuck up.
      You have told a lot people this already. No one gives a shit what you think,

    • the kitsune these days.. sigh.

  • dude your caps lock is on... damn... look for escort girls or simply lower your standards

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  • You need help. Talk to someone.

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  • Blow her up?

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  • jeez desperate guys *shivers* why so dramatic? I hate drama 😪, who the fuck with kill themselves over such a trivial shit? ugh :/

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    • it's because you experience having one

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    • how could you be done, your so young. You hardly have seen a thing, but whatever be depressed, go cry in the corner of the room because some girls doesn't fancy you. Cause that really is the meaning of life dude, crying over some silly girl :/

    • i don't care if she is silly
      at least i have one
      at least i experience it
      even if it is a bad relationship it's okay
      i will my life to the fullest

  • u r trolling

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  • ask a girl if she would bve your gf, if not ask aother one

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What Guys Said 11

  • Advices and tricks and methods before killing yourself-

    Advices-
    *Make sure you have a working and an easy to go through estate will, Keep a good solicitor too.
    *As you don't have any wife/wives/husband/husbands/child/children, Your will should be directed towards the parents and the siblings.
    *If you have a PS4, please message me as I would like to have that shipped over to my house because my Xbox 360 is kind of outdated now.

    Tricks-
    #The poison from the Death Cap mushroom would help you to die a quick death.
    #It would be a good idea to have a bell with a chain attached by your grave because many a times, people appear to die but end up waking inside the coffin buried alive, so just to help you, their would be that backup system to save you but you wanted to die anyways so think of it as a second chance at life.
    #Slitting your wrists is a good idea, but do it inside the bathtub as it is messy.
    #Go to the place where you are and collect all your stuff and leave it at your mom's house or else when you die, she'll have to come over to collect it.

    Methods-
    #Google how to die
    It will show About 79,80,00,000 results in 0.42 seconds if you are on a dial up connection.

    Use FedEx when you are shipping the PS4 btw, It is more cheap and offers more discount too :) I'll take good care of it, I promise.

    Just before you die, I'd like to tell you that, When it is dark enough, you WILL be able to see the stars. And if you didn't get that then it's okay :) Look for a death cap, It's not that hard to find.

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    • advises, tricks and method of getting a GF
      you just give me an idea to kill myself WTF

      give the tricks and methods in the GF thing

  • Earn a bunch of money and gold diggers will come running..
    they won't be loving you though, but rather your money.. ^.~

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    • its okay, i just need one girl and i will live my life to the fullest

  • Well if you take up islam you might get a 72 virgin harem in the afterlife. Maybe.

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  • Hire an escort that specializes in the girlfriend experience.

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  • Okay, instantly won't happen but you can get a girlfriend within a week if you keep up the good work. Let's start with this.. how do you look?

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  • Anyone can do this, simply lower ALL standards and go with the most ugly repulsive girl around

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  • "PLEASE IM DYING"
    This one...

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  • If I knew that I wouldn't be single.

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  • How much money do you have lol

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  • Borrow a really expensive car and wear some expensive looking clothes. Done.

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  • Instantly? Get a hooker.

    Otherwise, it takes time and effort. If you're too lazy to put in any time and effort, then you know what to do.

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