Should I continue dating this guy or not?

I'm so unsure about this guy. We've met up 4 times. He texts me good morning all the time and we text for a long time. On the third date we went out to eat and I met his mom but it was awkward because I was clearly back at house house to have sex (second time) On the fourth date I went to his house just to watch a movie and fool around basically.
Cons are he lives 30 min driving away and I don't have a car so it takes a little over an hour by bus but he has given me a ride home numerous times which I feel guilty about. He has a college gf who he broke up with like 6 months ago and lives far away but I feel like she might still be somewhat of a presence in his life. Sometimes his jokes are god awful. And weird. He has dry humour that is sometimes hard to pick up on. He also loves to joke that I'm a player and it really has gotten on my nerves after a while. Like maybe HE'S the player. I'm pissed that I didn't play this out correctly. Maybe the first time I met his MOM it should of been when I was actually his gf. Is it doomed now? I slept over his house last night. Fourth date. Was that too soon? I don't really like formal dating but his living with his parents things throws me. He does have a good job and is saving to move out (he's 24) He's also my physical ideal and he does keep wanting to meet up. I've met up with him every other day since the first date a week ago.
I'm also annoyed about my position in life. I'm working at Starbucks for a year which I hate and then studying nursing next year. I just moved to the country so I have no friends. I'm glad for his company. But I also feel like a 21 year old loser with no car and no friends.
I also feel slightly alone still because I'm afraid he is using me for sex.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop being so paranoid, if you were just a booty call he wouldn't have introduced you to his mum. He drives you home which means he cares, he texts which means he pushes other things in his to give you time... Stop feeling guilty, 21 isn't too old. People are in worse shape at 30s too but that doesn't mean they are not good people or hardworking it simply means that they still have a struggle ahead of them
    having a car doesn't define you, its nothing but a set of wheels which you can buy when you have money, regarding friends well u just moved to the place so obvsly you dont have connections so give it some time ull eventually get friends there
    Guys love to brag lol its something we can't give up so take his PLAYER announcements with loads of salts, no guy is foolish enough to call himself a player in front of the girl he is playing

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    • Thanks so much for the advice. I think a lot of the issues I feel towards him have to do with my own insecurities.
      Can I ask you why he keeps joking (or not) that I'm a player? If I go on my phone and text a bit, he says something jokey like 'yeah, make sure your (other guys) know whats up' or just like he texts me good morning every morning, jokes that I text other guys that too. It's constant. I looked in his eyes and said I am NOT a player, stop saying that and then laughed because it's weird and ridiculous and he just said 'yeah, see!' What gives?

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    • Also I can't believe that he would think I'm the best. I'm an annoyance with no car :(

    • I dont have a car... Em i an annoyance too? relax these things dont realy matter in life
      She is an ex so who cares if she was medonna, she clearly wasn't the best because he is with you now... And damn both of you are seriously tall

What Guys Said 3

  • I don't think he is a great match for you, but it is working for now. I think you are a bit down in the dumps with your own life and that is making it easier to see all the imperfections with your new relationship and harder to see the good things. I don't think you had sex to soon, or slept over too soon, if it feels right then it is. Since he lives with his parents still, meeting his mom early in the relationship is normal. I would give it more time to see how it goes. If you feel the same way in a few weeks, then maybe this isn't the guy for you.

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  • If a guy likes you enough to show you to his parents, that says something.

    There's no such thing as sex "too soon". Quit thinking too much into it if you both enjoyed it.

    An hours distance is absolutely nothing.

    His ex probably does have a presence in his life, especially if they dated long. But he's probably willing to move on. Maybe he sees you as that chance.

    It's your choice to date him or not. Do you like his company that much?

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    • Thanks so much for the advice. I know you're right about the sex part. I think a lot of the issues I feel towards him have to do with my own insecurities.
      Can I ask you why he keeps joking (or not) that I'm a player? If I go on my phone and text a bit, he says something jokey like 'yeah, make sure your (other guys) know whats up' or just like he texts me good morning every morning, jokes that I text other guys that too. It's constant. I looked in his eyes and said I am NOT a player, stop saying that and then laughed because it's weird and ridiculous and he just said 'yeah, see!' What gives?

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    • It's always my sister texting me asking how everything is going because she's over protective. But I don't want to show him what she's saying because then my family and maybe I will seem crazy. My sister is really messing with my head, saying he's a dousche for not giving me a ride home last night and 'stranding me there' and then dropping me off at the bus today. But I wanted to cuddle with him, finish our movie AND he was on his way to work! He couldn't possibly of driven 30 min and back with a 7am start.

    • Hah I'm sure if you showed him those texts, he wouldn't mind at all. Does having a family that cares for your safety with a new guy make you and your family crazy? Think about how silly that sounds for a second.

      Don't let your sisters opinions effect your own judgement on the guy though. She doesn't interact with him. She doesn't see how he acts. You do.

  • No, he is just using you.

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