What do it mean when you ask her out and she asks for time to think about it?

She is my best friend. I know her for 3 years now. I kissed her two months ago, and formally asked her out about a month ago. Before I asked her... she could tell something was on my mind and asked me if I was alright. I asked and she asked for time to think things over. A few days later I was away on a business trip... she sent me a message that she hadn't forgotten about me asking her, said she was still thinking things over and that she had some other stuff going on in her life right now that she had to deal with. I said okay and that I understood.

A few weeks go by... after a few awkward days we hang out several times and go back to normal. Flash forward to about a month after I asked her. I go away for a weekend to a friends wedding. I didn't tell her I'd be gone. She sends me a text to hang out the night of the wedding. I say I'm sorry but I'm busy. She replies "If you're mad at me you have every right to be. Go do your thing and we'll chat later. ;)"

I've been trying to hang out with her the last few days, but she's in the middle of a big project for work. And we're going on vacation in a week, and I'd like to know WTF is going on before hand.

Updates:
I forgot to mention... She still hasn't said anything definitive.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Being you Both have this 'Bestie friend' Relationship, she most likely 'Hasn't said anything definite' because----She is scared of botching up what you Both have, scared it won't be the same, should something go wrong by you 'Formally asked her out a month ago.' And of course, with her life in a small uproar, it seemed More added headaches. I can understand this.
    Now I see a few misunderstandings with your Always Open lines of Communication. However, an easy fix to patch That up in a heart beat, so once you see one another, I don't see where That can't be repaired in a jiffy.
    You mentioned about 'Going on vacation in a week,' so Until that happens, give her a chance to finish her 'Big project for work'. This way she will be able to focus on you and whatever else you both need to work out.
    And as I say, do some soul searching on the part about your friendship having a monkey wrench put in it, should something go bananas... It's worth taking some time while waiting for her to 'Finis up' what she needs to right now.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Can you please reexplain this, I'm not clear on these parts of what you said:
      1. Now I see a few misunderstandings with your Always Open lines of Communication. However, an easy fix to patch That up in a heart beat, so once you see one another, I don't see where That can't be repaired in a jiffy.

      2. And as I say, do some soul searching on the part about your friendship having a monkey wrench put in it, should something go bananas... It's worth taking some time while waiting for her to 'Finis up' what she needs to right now.

      Thank you for your help. I don't want to push her, but I do need something to let me know to keep going, and to know she's still thinking about things... or on the flip side to be dropped so I can have some closure on the issue. Our relationship is really complex. Even some of my really good girl friends are baffled by some of the shit I tell them. We're practically a couple without the designation... and damn do I want it. Worst case still got my best friend

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    • Paris13! Can't thank you again enough for your help on this a little while back.

      But this weekend I finally got her! After a few months of waiting, I finally got her!

    • Ohhh, SuaveH., I just came on and saw this... I am so happy and thank you for allowing me a chance to help out in any way that I could.. Good luck, sweet man, God bless for this.. xxoo

What Girls Said 1

  • She's stalling. Almost all girls do this at least once in their life, where they don't know quite what to say to a guy. The best news I can give you: she hasn't said no yet. I don't want to get your hopes up, but I were her, I would probably be yelling out, "Hey! I am interested!" if I actually wanted to meet up. But I am not her, so I'll just be crossing my fingers for you!

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think it is just really bad timing, bad luck right now. The communication seems a little poor as well. You should have told her you where gone to a wedding, not just "busy". That way she would have come back with something positive instead of her thinking you are mad at her. Tell her you to get all the work projects and vaca's out of the way and try again at a relationship!

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  • She's either not interested and is trying to find a way to let you down without jeopordizing your friendship, or she's interested but is freaked out by being in a relationship so she's buying time to get her shit together.

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    • Will she let me know her intentions at some point or will I have to ask her again?

    • And if that's the case why didn't she nip it in the butt when I kissed her? She didn't say anything, she kind of smiled at me but she didn't say anything. You could have put me down then!

    • And since I've been friends with her I've seen a few other guys chase after her... and she's always given them a hard and fast no. I'm the only person so far that I've seen get a "let me think about it"

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