I think my girlfriend has an eating disorder?

So my girlfriend has always had really low self esteem. When we met she already didn't have a lot of self confidence and she was really shy.
I noticed she doesn't like compliment and doesn't accept compliment well. If I told her I thought she was beautiful she would keep denying it, or if her friend give her a compliment she would think she was lying. Anyways I would tell her she looked nice or pretty and she would always say " no I'm not, I'm fat". I would try and comfort her but eventually give up.
But lately I notice whenever we go out she won't eat, or if I offer to get her something she always reject saying it will make her fat. Or she says she not hungry. We did this overnight thing for school and she didn't eat the whole day, and whenever I offered her food she'd just say she's thirsty. I'm getting really concerned, she's starting too look kinda thin. When I brought up that she looked thin she got kinda happy.
She's not fat she just not skinny. Also all her friends are these tall sticks and she always says she wished she looked like them.
Also I don't really know if I can go to her parents. She only has her dad and he always tells her she looks fat and short, so he's obviously no help.
I just don't know what to do. I want to help her but I don't know how.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Try an approach that my boyfriend used on me and it worked.
    Be a man with her. A rock and a guide. Almost like a parent she obviously never had. If you can't do it, don't try.

    Shit like this doesn't come out of nowhere. It's a consequence of lifelong rejection, trauma and fears.
    Most guys when traumatised, lash out and destroy everything around them and themselves abruptly. Most of us girls when traumatised close up and destroy ourselves slowly. We disappear. I say most, there are exceptions.

    My boyfriend openly told me what he thinks. He told me I look sick and it's unnattractive. He then gave me a plate full of food and demanded I eat. I refused. Then he demanded I admit why I think I'm so fat. I gave him a lie about being fat. He asked if I was beaten. If something is wrong. He kept asking about all these morbid things like if my father touched me, or even if I've been bullied in school. I kept denying and trying to change the subject. He kept insisting. We got into a fight and I tried to run home, but he grabbed me, hugged me and told me he loves me and that I'm not going anywhere. In that moment I found myself in his arms, I broke down and started crying like a child.
    I may have freaked him out a little too, but I couldn't stop. I think he cried too, but I couldn't see anything.
    When I stopped crying I told him how I my dad was an alcoholic and how he beat my mum. How I was fat from early childhood and used food to escape. How I was teased, rejected and how I never, ever felt pretty no matter how skinny I got later in life.

    When I dried my face, he gave me a plate of food again and told me to eat. He didn't plead, or ask. He just expected me to eat. And there was nothing violent about this demand. It was simple and the most comforting fucking thing I ever felt in my life. He kept checking up on me and making sure I eat all the time from that point on.

    I am now running again because my energy is back and my boyfriend says I look beautiful.

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    • Thank I will now do this. Your boyfriend must be a great person. Thank you

    • You're welcome.
      And he is a great person. I wouldn't trade him for the world. <3

What Girls Said 7

  • I think u reassuring her that u love her no matter what and taking her out to eat and complimenting her or take her to the mall and let her try on stuff for u or help her pick out things to boost her confidence up and i would let the world know how much u care about her even writing a status or bragging online about how amazing ur girl is will make her happy plus every girl wants to know there boyfriend only wants them and likes them for who they are i wouldn't bring up her weight i would just let her know how amazing she is in other ways to where she's comfortable with her body like get her lingerie lol i saw this one guy at gamestop go in there to get his girlfriend something i mean it works both people win u and ur girlfriend will be happy u like her body and thats all that will matter to her and if that doesn't work then if she's unhappy with herself work out with her so u can keep a eye on her and what she's doing to stay fit but to be honest i wouldn't do that i would just like her for her and let her know that and everyone else

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  • Hmm as someone who struggles with an eating disorder the only advice I can give is that you need to be a source of support and love for her. There's really not much you can do. The thing about eating disorders is that it alters how someone views themselves, so no amount of compliments will matter. You may think she's thin but she genuinely sees a fat girl when she looks in the mirror. Don't keep pressuring her to eat and don't tell her she's getting too thin (this will only encourage her to keep losing weight). Tell her that you love her and that you're there if she needs to talk. There's nothing else you can do.

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  • When you compliment her and she starts contradicting you kiss her before she finished her sentence and tell her the compliment again. Also try to get some help for her but also know that you have to be there for her 24/7 and let her know that you're going to be there for her no matter what. If she feels your love and concern that could affect her choice.

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  • Yeah she could have be anorexic but she needs to be diagnosed by a doctor since there are other eating disorders. I think that what you could do to help is get her to a doctor or therapist or someone. And don't tell her that she looks too thin because you might make her feel worse.

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  • Take her to the doctors so he or she can do a test on signs and symptoms and then give her medications etc

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  • im kinda in that "not fat not skinny" area too and it can be hard when there are not a lot of people around you who look like you! i dont think there is anything you can do to 100% fix the problem, and she could probably benefit a ton if she had a counselor to vent to about all of her insecurities, but i think what you could do is kinda indirectly compliment her. if you're watching tv and someone with a body type like hers shows up, you could offhandedly remark that she's cute, if she won't get jealous! little things like that can help a lot with someone's self esteem over time. you can't magically repair her eating disorder, but you can help her feel better about herself in little ways!

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  • If you're in school have her talk to a counselor

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